Reminder: DIABETES IS AN INDIVIDUAL DISEASE.
That means that two people with the disease can be affected totally differently. That one fact is not very well known, and it makes things very difficult sometimes. Especially when people make comments about care, treatment, habits or anything else that a type 1 is doing. They're always trying to help, but they don't usually know how EVERYTHING affects the diabetic.
I respect people who are trying to help me, but sometimes it makes me feel like they think I don't know how to take care of myself. That is hurtful. So in light of that, I thought I'd write about some of the things I DO NOT like to hear. Unless people know me (personally) well enough to know what affects me...
- What's your blood sugar?
I hate this one. It makes me wonder what I did, and it makes me feel stupid. Always! I know that for most people that's not the intention, but I literally feel stupid every time someone that is not close to me asks me this question. Probably because I can act pretty stupid when my sugar isn't right, and I know that. So knowing that, I wonder what I did that made them think I am stupid. I don't think anything is worse than when people see me as less of a person (or stupid) because of my disease. - You can't eat that, you're a diabetic.
I assure you, I am completely aware that I am a diabetic. That does not mean that I cannot eat. I just have to be a little bit more careful than a lot of people. I can eat everything you can, and if you tell me not to, 9 times out of 10 I will eat it anyway just because you told me not to. I know what the consequences of my actions are and how different foods affect me--most people do not. So it drives me crazy when people think that they know enough about diabetes or me to tell me what I can and cannot eat. - Have you eaten?
Me: No, Mom, I haven't eaten. Sometimes I'm just not hungry. (I am actually talking to my mother, I'm not being disrespectful. Sort of.)
Mom: Taylor, you are not allowed to go out on any more unchaperoned dates unless you will actually eat. Either I'm having a talk with your date, or I'm going with you so I can feed you when you are stubborn.
Me: *Forces food when not hungry*
Seriously, though. I hate when people ask if I have eaten if they are not close to me. I know when I'm supposed to eat, and I'm on a really weird food schedule because of jobs. If I eat off of my schedule, it messes up my diabetes in an terrible way. I don't like having to explain my food schedule to people. Also, if I have eaten that conversation usually leads to "You shouldn't have eaten that, you're a diabetic." - I'd rather have you high than low.
I've seriously had teachers and extended family members say that to me. What they really mean is, "I would rather have you high so that there is no possibility of you being low." Do you realize how that feels? They say that and then feed me when my sugar is perfectly normal--or try to, I don't do that anymore. But they do it because they're afraid of the immediate consequences of a low. No one considers the long-term consequences of the highs that I will have to deal with after they're no longer responsible for me. Also, having high blood sugars means that I am very ill. I feel so sick when my sugar is consistently high that I can't function properly. It's like they think that being high will not affect me at all, but people who do not know me do not understand. - Oh, yeah. I know about diabetes. My best friend in kindergarten had diabetes.
Just because someone you have not spoken to in 30 years had the same disease that I do does not mean you know diabetes. It doesn't even mean that you knew your friend's diabetes. It means that you have been around the public part of the disease. There is a lot of stuff that happens "behind the scenes" that you don't even want to think about. - Hey, do you want to go do.... ANYTHING SPONTANEOUS.
I actually have to plan around things I have to make sure that my sugar is going to behave and I have to make sure that there will be someone there that can take care of me in case it doesn't. Anytime I have something going on, there is a lot of planning involved. Especially if I have to drive. Just because my sugar is good right now, does not mean that it will be good when I have to drive home. - Yeah, you can do that. Just don't tell your parents.
There are so many reasons this bothers me, but diabetically speaking, my disease will tell on me. Just because I don't tell my parents I had that piece of cake when my blood sugar was already high does not mean that diabetes doesn't know it. It will make me sick for way too long to be worth it. This applies to so many different situations. - Well, I bet diabetes doesn't bother you anymore since you've had it for so long.
Diabetes will always bother me. It will not matter how long I've been dealing with it, it will always be hard. - Shouldn't you have that under control by now? You've been dealing with it your whole life.
That one makes me very upset. Not only are you reminding me I am a diabetic, you are also reminding me that I am terrible at it. Or at least you think I'm terrible at it. Fun fact for you: there is no such thing as "under control," it doesn't matter how long you've had diabetes. It will be eternally unpredictable. I'm doing the best I can, and unless you deal with it everyday like I do, you don't get to judge me on how "under control" I am. Not allowed. - Hey, I heard that if you eat (...), your diabetes will be cured!
Yeah, I saw that on pinterest too. There's a lot of truth to that whole "don't believe everything you see online" thing. There is no cure for my diabetes. It is treated with insulin, but insulin is not a cure. - You're fine, you have insulin. You're basically cured.
No. Insulin is not a cure. Insulin is life support. Until the day when I can eat what I want, when I want, and not worry about it killing me in the middle of the night, I am not cured. Insulin makes the disease manageable, but it does not make me free. - I hate needles. I couldn't live with that.
Please don't remind me that I have a needle stuck in me 24/7 so that I can survive, and another one stuck in me to make it easier for me to manage the diabetes. Thanks. Also, I guarantee you that if you had diabetes, it wouldn't matter how you feel about needles. You would do what you have to in order to stay alive. It really sucks that there are needles involved, but it's better than sitting in a hospital room waiting to die.
There are a ton of other things I hate to hear, but those are the ones I can think of right now. Please remember this if you know someone who is a diabetic. Try to think of how what you're saying might affect them, or how it will make them feel. That sounds dumb, but I'm pretty sure most people wouldn't think about how "I hate needles" makes me feel. It's also different depending on the person. In most cases, though, ask us. We don't usually bite and we like to tell people about our disease. Everything that you know about our disease makes life safer for us, so don't be afraid to ask questions.
