I wrote a while back about meaning what you say and what you do. This post is going to accompany that one in a way. This time, however, I am going to be discussing only the phrase "I love you." With Valentine's Day in the near future, I think this is appropriate.
I recently began noting how often I say the words "I love you." Although I know what I mean each and every time it is said, others may not. Most of the time I mean that the person is special to me, but not exactly that I am in-love with them. I mean that they are very dear to me. I say this to my best friends a lot, and to my family of course. At any rate, it has come to my attention that I definitely overuse the phrase. By overusing the phrase, it has lost it's meaning. I never meant to do that, so I am correcting my actions immediately.
How often do you say that you love someone or something? What does the word "love" mean to you? Would you die for everyone and everything that you claim to love? To me, love mostly means respect. The words are interchangeable. Everyone that I claim to "love," I could easily tell that I respect. That way I would be saying what I meant, while at the same time not diminishing the meaning of the "love" word. This would also eliminate misunderstanding.
Something that my sister discovered recently gave me a new perspective on this topic. In order to eliminate any misunderstanding, the Japanese use separate words for the varying meanings of "love." There are meanings everywhere from "I love cake" to "You are the love of my life." This sounds rather complex, but it is about the same thing as saying respect instead of love.
Sukidesu is probably the most commonly used Japanese love-phrase. It can be used for a variety of things as it means "I care for you." I like this translation! It is very useful and it can't really be misinterpreted to mean something more. I have started using "I care for you" when talking to my friends, because that is exactly what I mean to say. It has become a favorite phrase of mine.
Aishiteru is the Japanese phrase for "I love you" on a more serious level. It is probably used for family, significant others, and perhaps very close friends. I don't have many people that fall under this category. If I were to use this, it would literally mean that I love you enough to give up my life for you. This phrase should be reserved only for those that deserve it.
The third category (if you want to call it that) is "you are the love of my life," or watashi no isshoo no koibito. That one is kind of long, but it definitely cannot be misunderstood. The meaning is clearly stated in the phrase and no one can twist it. This phrase is another one that should be spoken only to those that deserve it. Actually, only one person should ever hear this phrase from you. The true love of your life.
There are some other love-phrases, such as "you make me happy" (kimi ga ite shiawase), "I am passionate about you" (kimi ni muchuu), "I adore you" (kimi no koto sukide tamaranai) and so on. But the three I have mentioned are (in my opinion) the most meaningful. They depict exactly what the person is feeling without misconception.
I will be altering my words from now on to say what I mean. Especially when it comes to such a strong and over-used phrase. I probably won't use the Japanese words, but I can use their translations. "I care for you" is very different from "you are the love of my life." I challenge my readers to do the same. Find a phrase that fits your feeling, and stick with it. Does the cake make you happy, or is it the love of your life? You know the answer, but make sure that the world does too. Set a good example for those watching you and choose your words carefully.
**Side note: If you are interested in learning some more Japanese love phrases, you can check them out at this website http://www.learnalanguage.com/learn-japanese/japanese-phrases/japanese-love-phrases.php **
