Inspiration

 I always kind of assumed that because I am a diabetic I won't be able to do as much as other people will. I know I can't do any kind of military service or anything like that, but at one point I had wanted to become a law enforcement officer. I was really young then--I think I was about four--and I pretty much convinced myself that diabetes would prevent me from doing anything like that with my life.

I wasn't afraid of the work. I was afraid of this sometimes uncontrollable disease and the affects that a career in that field would have on it. I never wanted to admit that, but the fear was there nonetheless. I figured being an officer would be dangerous for me because of the training required. I watched my Dad go through the Basic Law Enforcement Training program and I saw how hard it was. I just assumed that I would never be able to make it through, so I looked for a new plan.

After that, I considered going into nursing. I was quickly reminded that I have a compromised immune system, and being around sick people all the time wouldn't exactly be a good idea. If I get sick super easily, then I might always be sick. If I am always sick, how can I expect to hold a job?

Once I came to that conclusion, I decided that I would just be a Mom and a writer for the rest of my life. I had always planned on being a Mom, too. It just wasn't really a focus before that. After doing a little bit of research, I discovered that it was dangerous for female diabetic to have children. What do you think I did after that? I decided that the only way I could be a Mom was if I adopted my children. There was no way I was going to put myself in danger.

There are a few things I want to share after pointing all that out. First, I would like to say that I have reminded myself that God is in control, and His plan for me is perfect. It doesn't matter what I want for me, I have and will continue to submit to His will. It is better that way. Then, I would like to introduce you to one of my human inspirations.

When I started College I actually took an intro to Criminal Justice class, figuring that I could do what I wanted to do with my life anyway. Here is the ironic part: I really didn't like the course! After debating for so long whether or not I could go into the field, I discovered that I didn't really want to. I found Criminal Justice studies somewhat boring, and I knew for sure after that class that was not what God had planned for my life! I still have a lot of respect for law enforcement officers, of course. I will always support them. I just wasn't meant to be one.

Now I will introduce you to Kyle Cochran, one of my biggest inspirations. About a year ago, my little sister discovered the television show American Ninja Warrior. If you haven't heard of it, it consists of an incredibly difficult obstacle course that people from all around the country try to conquer. (I'll include a video of one of Kyle's runs.) I started watching the show with my sister, and we got to see Kyle Cochran attempt the course. Before they would show his attempt, they  did an introduction. We discovered that he had Type 1 Diabetes! Naturally, I payed more attention at that point.

When I watched to see what this young man could accomplish, despite his limitations, it definitely inspired me! He taught me not to treat Diabetes like it is a crutch. The hosts as well as his family make a point to say how much of an inspiration he is, but I feel that I had to share my reasons.

I know from experience that diabetes can be challenging. It made playing sports difficult. It made working in a fast-paced environment next to impossible. I cannot fathom the control that Kyle must have to be able to be an American Ninja Warrior! It makes me want to fight a little harder for the things I want to achieve. I think that "Divabetic" says it best this way:

I have made the decision not to let my disability affect my capabilities. Instead of giving up, I will Fight Like A Taylor.

What Matters More?

God has a funny way of bringing me back to Him. Every time I'm struggling to keep up with my life, He reminds me that putting Him first makes everything else fall into place. 

There is only so much time in a day. We are given 24 hours to do whatever we want. However, when we keep adding things to our plate, we quickly fill up those hours. At that point, we must decide what we like best and keep making time for those things.

Keyword here: making time. 

I play many different roles in my life. College student, Christian, sister, daughter, tutor, employee, friend etc. I want to do my best at preforming those roles. It takes time to do those things!

Let me put it this way. If I have twenty-four hours in one day, let's take out the time required for the things that I need to do. I'll start with absolute necessities. So, eight hours comes out for sleeping time (although I could sleep for probably ten hours if I had a day off). Now I have sixteen hours left. I have to take at least three of that for eating time, so now I have thirteen hours. I spend on average four hours daily doing some kind of school work, so we can subtract that from my time. That leaves me with nine hours. I easily spend two of that doing something with my dog--playing outside, giving her a bath, going for a car ride, whatever. (Once again, this is on average.) So I can take that out of my time, giving me seven hours. I can spend up to three of those hours on my computer doing something, unfortunately. Usually I am doing homework of some kind, but I like to play TERA and listen to music. I can eliminate three hours from my day, giving me four hours left. I am supposed to help my sister with her math, but lately I haven't made enough time for that. I can eliminate one hour for that chore, leaving me with three hours left in my day. Notice that I have yet to include any time for God? Unfortunately, by the time the rest of that is finished, I don't want to do anything but relax for those few hours. I end up talking to friends or doing extra-curricular activities. The One who deserves all of my attention has just been put to the bottom of my "to-do list."

The problem is, God shouldn't be included in a to-do list at all. We ought to focus our attention on Him because we want to, not because it is just another thing on our list.

I have an entry in my journal from about a month ago. It deals with this topic directly. In it, I made a list of what the world had to offer me. Well, what the world had to offer me when I didn't put God first. It goes as follows:

• I have lost my sense of self. 
• Depression. 
• Loss of desire for God. 
• Poor decision making. 
• Other such things. 

 I wrote this Bible verse along with it:

"But I myself said: I have labored in vain,
I have spent my strength for nothing and futility;
yet my vindication is with the Lord,
and my reward is with my God." (Isaiah 49:4 HCSB)

That last line there really hits home. "My reward is with my God." That reminds me that if I put Him first, then everything else will fall into place. Let me put it another way...

What matters more? God, or _______________?

 It doesn't matter what you fill the blank with, the answer is the same. "My Reward is with my God," and I trust him to take care of me. In all 24 hours of the day. But I need to prove that by putting Him first, and actually making time in my day to give to Him. He deserves all of my attention, not just what I have left to give. I have to remember that He gave me everything. So all of those things I spend my time with/on/doing are gifts from Him. I was reminded by that verse at that point in time to "stop putting the gift above the giver." 

Since then, I have been putting God first in my life. And, as expected, everything else is falling into place.

Some Fun Facts About Type 1 Diabetes

Misconceptions are common, especially when people rely on sources they assume to be credible. In the age of internet, that is a dangerous thing! Not every source is reliable for everything. Sometimes people will take information from a source and hold it as a fact, when it is actually a myth.

So there are some myths about diabetes that I would like to address and correct. Let me establish my credibility by saying that I have been living with and fighting this disease for 19 years.

First: diabetes is caused by obesity. This one drives me crazy. This is a very common myth that most people believe to be true. Diabetes can be caused by obesity--if it is Type 2. The difference between Type 1 and Type 2 can be described fairly easily. Type 1 diabetes occurs when the body's immune system destroys the pancreas, causing the patient to be insulin dependent. This isn't typically caused by eating too many calories or carbohydrates, despite popular opinion. My diagnosis came after an allergic reaction to my immunizations when I was 10 months old. How can a 10-month-old be obese to the point of diabetes diagnosis? For another example, one of my best friends was diagnosed at 3-years-old after her body fought off the chicken-pox virus. Both of us were completely healthy prior to our diagnosis. Type 2 diabetes occurs when the body isn't able to use insulin correctly, or when the body is insulin resistant. Only 5-10% of diabetics have Type 1 diabetes. (For more information, you can look at the WebMD website here: http://www.webmd.com/diabetes/tc/diabetes-differences-between-type-1-and-2-topic-overview) 

Second: Diabetics can't eat sugar. There is sugar in pretty much everything, so the belief that diabetics cannot eat sugar is definitely incorrect. We don't even count sugars! We actually count carbohydrates, because that is what directly affects the blood sugar. Yes, it does sound dumb, but trust me that's how it works. Once again, it differs between Type 1 and Type 2 with how we treat it. Personally, as a Type1 diabetic, I just have to get insulin before eating something with too many carbs in it. I will add that if my sugar is too high (which I would say is 250+) then I won't eat anything with too many carbs in it. It can be too difficult to bring the blood sugar down at that point. I'd rather maintain my health than eat a cookie whenever  I feel like it. Type 2 diabetics can control it through diet and exorcise, which brings us to our next myth.

Third: ALL diabetics can control it through diet and exorcise. Additionally, insulin is only taken when the patient's disease is extremely out of control. (Some people don't add the last part, but that is pretty much what it means.) I suppose this can be true to an extent. I know for a fact that if I exorcise when I am high, then my sugar will come down. Of course, eating any kind of carbs will bring it up. But it doesn't always work that way. Sometimes I might be stressed out, and if that is the case, no amount of exorcise I can do will bring my sugar down. Insulin helps at that point, but it is not because my disease is extremely out of control. You have to consider the difference between a Type 1 Diabetic and a Type 2 Diabetic at this point. Recall that a Type 1's pancreas has been destroyed and therefore the person is insulin dependent. It doesn't matter how much exorcise a Type 1 does, the body will not produce insulin because it is not capable of doing this.

Fourth: Diabetes has a singular treatment option. This one might not sound so familiar, but the majority of people do believe this. It basically means that, assuming a person knows the difference between Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes, the person believes that all you need is insulin and that will fix your problems. I can assure you, there is much more that affects this disease than insulin and/or food. This is an individual disease, and it does not affect everyone the same way. It doesn't even affect me the same way every single day. For example, if I eat the same food for breakfast everyday this week my blood sugar will not do the same thing afterwords. Sunday I might go too high because of the inactivity during church, while Monday I might drop too low because of my morning run. My emotions also play a huge part in what my diabetes will do. If I am stressed out over a school project, my blood sugar might stay high no matter what amount of insulin I get. The only way to fix that high is to relieve the stress. Alternatively, my blood sugar could decide to drop below 60 and remain there until I relieve the stress. (This is very dangerous!) I have done this before, especially lately. It gets to the point that I will literally take my insulin pump off and eat every two hours. Once again, this might not work the way I want it to. I could still remain low until after I have relieved the stress. Additionally, it doesn't affect every diabetic the same way. One of my diabetic friends might be stressed over a school project but be medically fine. But when she gets her heart broken, her disease a complete disaster to try and control.

Fifth: Diabetes is curable. This myth is quite hurtful. Some people assume that I can cure my disease through diet and exorcise, as I have addressed. But some people are persistent that this particular diet, or that exact food will cure my diabetes for good. The only way to cure this disease is to make the pancreas function "normally." It is hurtful because of the infinite amount of people that come up to me and treat me like I am stupid because I don't know how to cure it. I've even had some of my customers at work try to magically cure my disease with certain diet plans! Even when I know that most people are trying to help, it still makes me feel bad when they try to "cure" me. Partially because it reminds me that I am stuck with this disease forever. But partially because I take it to mean that they assume there is something wrong with me or with how I am dealing with diabetes. I can't express the fact that it is an individual disease enough. I am doing the best that I can, and I have plenty of help from my family, my doctors, and my God. I appreciate the care, but it is hurtful at the same time.

I didn't create this blog post as a rant, but it might look like that. I created it because I genuinely wanted to resolve these myths as best I could. There are a ton of things that I still didn't touch on, because it would take up too much time. I will probably write about those later. I want the world to be informed about the disease, rather than to just trust what the internet or their friends say about it. Thank you for taking the time to read.