"New Year, New you"

I just want to take a moment to tell you all about my most recent discovery....

Since last semester, I've made some major changes in my diet and exercise program. Yes, I took a PE class that forced me to do that to begin with. After I realized the benefits of the lifestyle change, though, I have been implementing it.

Part of what made me realize the difference was my most recent A1C. I went from a consistent 7.1-7.9 to a 6.9. I guess it doesn't seem like that big of a difference, but it definitely is! Some other things I noticed was an absence of depression, more energy, more drive and a clearer mind. I can process things much better and much faster now than I could before I changed my diet and exercise program.

Honestly, it isn't that difficult to follow my diet plan because of how I've changed it. It isn't expensive, like people say it is. It doesn't taste bad, like people say it does. It isn't boring food, like people say it is. It's easy when you get used to following a simple rule: cover you food groups. That's the only way to actually have a decent diet. Make sure that every meal is balanced (i.e., you have fruits, veggies, protein, dairy and some kind of grain). If you aren't able to make the meal balanced (I have a hard time eating a veggie with breakfast most days) then cover that food group with a snack a few hours later. The more difficult details about my change in diet are the calorie counting and the portion sizes. I have to make sure that I am eating around 1800 calories a day, which is difficult because I'm usually low on that. I also have to make sure that I am eating the proper amount of each food group every day, but I usually don't pay close enough attention to that. I just make sure that I have balanced meals. I cut out soda and most sweet stuff on the week days, too. I don't eat any processed foods if I can help it. I have to allow myself some way to escape it if I want, because otherwise I won't follow it. :) I know me. That is too true. The weekends are my way of allowing myself to splurge.

The exercise plan is harder to follow because of an ever changing schedule. Work, school, diabetes, life in general doesn't like to play along. I like to make sure that I get at least 1 hour of exercise in at least 5 days a week. That can be yoga, riding my bike, going for a walk or whatever I want to do that day. Preferably, 2 or 3 of those days will be a more vigorous exercise, but like I said life doesn't play along. I try to stretch for 30 minutes or so before bed because it helps me to sleep better, but I am not always able to do that. I don't follow a beach body program or any of the other trending exercise routines. I just do what works with and for me, and that helps me to better control diabetes and my body.

(Random Fun Fact: Until about September, I didn't think I could exercise regularly or vigorously. I always assumed that I would just die because of diabetes. I never imagined this kind of lifestyle to be possibly for me...)

I'm not doing any of this to lose weight or anything like that. I just want to be healthy, and I've come to the realization that this is the only way to do that. This year, my goal is to keep my A1C below 7. Please pray for me as I continue working to control My Little Monster (diabetes)....

Confession...

Okay. So I have a confession to make. And I don't like it.

Confession: I feel like I have just been diagnosed. I'm actually going in and out of stages of denial at this point, too.

Because I was diagnosed at 10 months old, my parents took care of the diabetes. Well, they did most of the care until about two years ago (when I turned 18 and decided I wanted to do it by myself). It's so weird for me to say this, but it feels like I was just diagnosed. I go in and out of stages of denial and depression etc. I didn't realize how much work was involved in this crazy disease until I started doing it all.

I have to log my blood sugars now. That's something that Mom always did. It kind of sucks because it's time consuming. It also kind of sucks because it is necessary. If I can see a pattern with my blood sugars, then I know what to look for and correct. I do have to say, since I got my dexcom and it is working properly that is a lot easier! I used to have to log it all by hand from my meter. If I do it right, I have to include what I've eaten and everything, so it should happen at least once a day.

I have to count my carbs. That is probably my least favorite chore. I know better now what I should and shouldn't be eating, because I'm the primary caregiver. I actually have to eat, even when I'm not hungry, at certain times of the day. There is a food schedule I have to stay on, otherwise the roller coaster begins and it doesn't end for a long time. I have also noticed that my blood sugar stays in better range when I eat more along the lines of a Paleo Diet (no grains or dairy). I have an abnormal reaction to gluten and lactose. My blood sugar will spike and it stays in the 200s-400s for several days. Now that I'm my own primary caregiver, all of that is stuff I am forced to consider every second of every day.

I have to calculate my own insulin, without much help or instruction. That's a really big deal. If I miscalculate and give too much, and don't catch it later, I'll die from a low blood sugar. If I miscalculate and don't give enough, I could end up in DKA or diabetic coma. That will either kill me, or give me additional life-long problems to deal with. I honestly had to get used to calculating insulin on my own. I had to figure out more than just carb ratios that. I had to figure out how much to give if I'm high, or how much to eat and correct for if I'm low. That is a constant battle.

I am responsible for making sure my blood sugar is in range so that I can drive, sleep, work, etc. I have to be between 80 and 180--and steady--before I am comfortable driving anywhere. I don't trust myself behind the wheel if I am outside of that range. This causes problems, Driving to someplace I might be fine, but that can change by the time I have to drive home. I have had to call someone to rescue me on more than one occasion because I could not get my blood sugar back in that range. Working brings in some more difficulties, If it is a busy day, my blood sugar has run low enough that I need a long break and I have to stop my pump. But if it is a slow day, I can't seem to keep my sugar down. Regardless of whether or not I can drive when my shift is over, these highs and lows are very dangerous to my health. Immediate health, and long-term health are at risk with these fluctuations.

There's a list of things I have to do before I can go to sleep at night. If my sugar is low, I have to make sure that it is brought up before I go to sleep. IT doesn't matter how tired I am, I cannot sleep if my sugar stays low. That could be the last bad decision I make. If my sugar is high, I have to make sure it is in range or dropping before I can sleep. If I see that it is dropping and I choose to go to sleep, I have to set a clock for about an hour or two later to make sure it is still dropping or it is in range. If it isn't in range, I set another alarm. It's worse than a child, because there in no benefit to it. It's more like my little monster.

I have to be more careful about my emotions now. Emotions drive my blood sugars wild, so if I am not careful with how I react or respond to things, my health is in danger. If I put myself in a stressful situation for a prolonged period of time, there is no telling what will happen to my blood sugars. If something happens that makes me very sad, diabetes reacts to that. If I make a decision I am not happy with and I feel regret for it, it does not escape diabetes' grasp. If I am too tired, or feeling sick, or even too happy my disease knows and it reacts to my emotions.

I have to inform everyone I'm around that I am not "normal." Especially on a job interview, I have to let my potential employers know that I have some special needs. If they aren't comfortable with that, then I have to look for a different opportunity. I have to get to know my friends very well before I go and do anything without my Tay-Dar. The better they know me, the more they catch the things that I am likely to miss. I have to inform my school and my teachers that I have some special needs, too, and I have to make sure that they accommodate those appropriately. (Basically, that means not getting angry if I have to check my blood sugar in class, get insulin or eat something to correct a low.) Because I do this all without help, I just have to make sure that they will allow me to do so. Sometimes this is a challenge.

Actually, I'll even admit that some days I don't have diabetes. Diabetes has me. Some days I let it get to me and it destroys me from the inside out. Literally. It's not like I haven't been doing this forever. It's just that I'm doing it myself now, so it all comes back on me. The thing with the emotions is a big deal, because I'm the one protecting me. People have no idea how much my little monster effects me, and they get mad when I put my little monster first. But I am the only one who is responsible for whether I live or die because of diabetes.

It's a lot to handle, so I'm thankful for the support I get from my friends and family. Especially the ones that I let close enough to find out how much I am struggling with it.

Working With Diabetes

One of the more painful truths about living with diabetes is that it makes it difficult to find a job. There are several reasons for that. No employer wants to deal with the "special attention" a diabetic gets to have. Employers don't like to keep up with diabetes (especially brittle diabetes) after a diabetic is hired, either. They don't want to deal with an inconvenient low or high blood sugar, or with the possibility of an employee being dangerously low and passing out on the job. That has my experience so far--mind you, I've only worked in retail. I cannot even begin to fathom the difficulty in getting a job as a nurse, officer of any kind, "normal" 9-5 job, etc.

My first job wasn't so difficult, because I had known the manager from Church before I was hired. He also had another diabetic working for him, so he already knew how to handle diabetes in a work setting. That was a painless experience, for the most part. The problem had been trying to find a job in the first place. It took me 6 months to find someone who would hire me, mostly because employers feared my disease. 

After I left my first job, it took me 6 months to find a new job. I didn't know anyone at this second place, but I bothered the management until I got an interview and eventually they hired me. I worked there for only seven months because it totally destroyed my diabetes. They were not diabetes friendly at all, and they treated me like I could choose when my blood sugar bottomed out or went so high I could not function properly. If I had the choice, would I be a diabetic? Nope! My blood sugar used to drop low enough that my dexcom and meter could not read a number, and the management would still tell me I had to wait to take a break. It got to the point that I stopped telling them and just started going to the break room to get a snack (they would not let me keep food or a drink with me at first). One time the assistant manager followed me to the break room fussing at me about whatever was going on. To be honest, I don't even remember what he said because my sugar was that low. Someone figured out what was happening at work and called HR on management, but the problem persisted until it was even more dangerous. Needless to say, I am no longer employed there. 

Six months later, I am very happy where I am now! I enjoy the laid back environment and I love that my coworkers are all trying to learn about the diabetes. If they are nervous about it, they do not appear to be. That makes it easier to control anyway. I had shopped in this store several times before, so I kind of knew the employees. I just didn't know them on a personal level. My blood sugar finally straightened itself out from my second place of employment, and diabetes is not killing me where I am now. I am living a much healthier life compared to where I was before, and I am not stressed out at all. God has blessed me with employers who are not too misunderstanding of what diabetes means. 

I am not incapable! Although sometimes, especially to a potential employer, it does appear that way. I am completely capable of doing whatever I need to do, including working a job. I just have to fight 100 times harder (with some things) than "normal" people do. It's even more difficult when people refuse to give me a chance because they can't see past my disease. 

Just one more thing I want to say for now...

Different Kinds of Sugar

Something that hit me the other day that people might not realize is that there are several different kinds of sugar. I don't necessarily mean ploysaccharides, disaccharides and monosaccharides. I suppose that has something to do with it, but I'm talking more about how different sugars affect diabetes and the body.

Quick-sugars are like most fruit juices, sweet foods and stuff like that. These kinds of sugars get my blood sugar to spike fast, but the sugars also work quickly so it doesn't last for very long. I like to use this as half of my correction for lows because I will go up in less than five minutes. Quick sugars are sometimes hard to correct for, though. This is because the insulin will be working for 45 minutes to an hour and the the sugar will have worked and been gone for at least 40 minutes by the time the insulin is done. This is where the false belief that diabetic's cannot have sugar comes from. It is not that we cannot have sugar, it is that quick sugar can be dangerous or hard to correct for. If we could not have sugar, then we would not be able to eat. Because there is sugar in everything. I do try to avoid having too much of this kind of sugar because it can be very hard to manage diabetes on a quick-sugar diet, but I can have cake, candy, or apple juice if I want to.

Long-lasting sugars are usually breads, pastries, milk and other such things. Pizza is a long-lasting carbohydrate/sugar, and it is more dangerous for me than any quick-sugar is. The yeast hits me repeatedly, so sometimes it is like no amount of insulin will be enough. It can continue to affect me for 8 hours after a meal. Not all long-lasting sugars/carbs are like that. A biscuit in the morning is a good idea especially for a long day with a lot of activity. It will keep my sugar steady so I don't have to worry about dropping. Usually. Milk isn't quite as long lasting as bread, so it's good to keep my sugar up after a low. I usually try to couple quick-acting and long-lasting sugars when treating a hypoglycemic event, because one will bring me up almost instantly and the other will help me maintain the good blood sugar.

Something else that people might not consider is foods that do not typically have an overabundance in carbs/sugars. I can eat bacon all day long and it doesn't have any affect on my blood sugar, because there are no carbs/sugars in it. Same thing applies to other kinds of meats, cheeses, most vegetables and water. On high blood sugar days I try to stick to this kind of diet. Especially if I am having a consistent stream of highs and can't seem to figure out what the problem is. I can't really fast, so this helps me figure out if it is a basal (amount of insulin the pump gives me over a 24 hour period of time), food or under correction issue.

I just wanted to raise awareness about the different kinds of sugars and the different affects they can have on my body. Since it is Diabetes Awareness Month and all. I guess I hadn't really considered that people don't know how it affects me. But now you know!

What "Causes" Highs Or Lows?

A while back I had written about diabetes not having one single treatment option. It is NOT a linear disease! It is very individual! By that, I mean that I don't only start to go up when I eat something and do not correct properly. I also don't only drop when I haven't eaten or when I have had too much exercise. I want to take some time this month to describe to you how individual my disease is.

I am considered a "brittle diabetic." Basically, that means that everything affects my disease (and it doesn't always affect it in the same ways). For example, if I have a bunch of homework and I don't think I will be able to get it all done my diabetes will go absolutely insane. Sometimes that means high blood sugar until I can finish the homework, sometimes it means dangerously low to the point that I can't even go to class. It's unpredictable.

As mentioned, school affects my blood sugar. So does food, sleep (or lack of), pain (emotional, spiritual and physical), happiness, pretty much every emotion, stress, fatigue, illness and pretty much everything else under the sun. Some of the biggest things that affect my blood sugar are pain, illness and emotions.

Pain has always had a huge affect on my diabetes. I take a little longer to heal than "normal" people (non-diabetics), and even a small paper cut can make my sugar go high for several days. Ibuprofen or other pain reliever can make my sugar go down. I just have to keep taking it until the cut (or burn, or bite, or whatever else) is completely healed. Emotional pain can put me on a seemingly eternal roller coaster until I get over whatever is the problem. Occasionally, this is very dangerous as it can last for several months.

I have a compromised immune system because of this disease, so I get sick very easily. Illness can make me do all kinds of crazy things. It can produce a roller coaster, consistent highs (that is most often the case) or consistent, dangerous lows. Once again these problems are not resolved until the sickness is gone.

Emotions hate me. I am convinced. Because this has the absolute worst affect on my blood sugar and it isn't something I can just take a pill for or get insulin for to fix. I worked at a very emotionally trying store for seven months and it almost killed me. It took me three months after I quit my job there to fix my diabetes problems, as I wasn't quite over the problems that came it with. That point in my life caused me to be very depressed and that made an in-explainable, unpredictable diabetes ride.

It is difficult to explain in detail everything that can affect my blood sugar, because EVERYTHING CAN AFFECT MY BLOOD SUGAR.  Everything can cause a high or a low. Even anticipation of highs or lows can cause my sugar to head in that direction.

Managing diabetes is not easy because of this. But it is doable, and I've had a wonderful support system in my family and church and God has blessed me beyond all belief.

Some (Free) Ways You Can Show Your Support This Month!

So, as a college student I can understand that money is sometimes tight. I wouldn't want you to donate money you don't have, even if it is for a good cause.

Instead, let me share with you some easy, (mostly) free ways you can show support and raise awareness this month!

First, you could follow Project Blue November on facebook or other social media sites and share their awareness posts. This is totally free and it doesn't take very long to do. A lot of people are just misinformed or uninformed about the disease, so sharing some facts could benefit everyone. Use #projectbluenovember if you decide to share these posts. If you would, use #fightlikeataylor (my own hashtag) as well! I would greatly appreciate that!

Second, and a variation of the first, you could join us in doing the blue streak challenge. This is so much fun, especially if you enjoy being a little bit crazy! Either get a blue hair extension to wear for a little while or dye a bit of your hear blue. When people ask you why you have an opportunity to share with them! It might cost a little bit of money, but it is a lot of fun! If you decide to follow the link above and look at the photo album for the blue streak challenge, I am in the album twice! (I thought that was pretty cool!!)

Third, wear blue on Fridays. If you own a lot of blue this is really easy. If you don't, just experiment a little and play with your options. There is a movement going on currently that is claiming Fridays in November as blue Fridays. Project Blue November has t-shirts for sale if you feel like purchasing one. In addition to this, you could wear a blue ribbon on pretty much anything. If you know me personally, ask me for one! I am always giving some out in November!

If you are a diabetic, JDRF is doing something very cool. T1D Looks Like Me is quick and easy to operate. You can upload a picture and it will cover it with a bluish haze and add the slogan (see picture below). It's free and you can share it anywhere you want to.

 
I am giving a few speeches at my school this week to share my story. This definitely spreads awareness. If you are comfortable giving a speech or two, pursue that option as well! I'm here to encourage you!

November 14th is an especially important day to me this month, as it is WORLD DIABETES DAY. If you cannot do anything any other day this month, but still want to show some support, mark this day on your calendar! This would be a great opportunity to spread awareness everywhere! Go crazy! Do whatever you can to show your support on this day! Let me know, so I can join you! 

In case you didn't already know... You can always share my blog posts. If you find something interesting, feel free to show anyone you want to! I definitely wouldn't mind!

The Tay-Dar

As promised, today's post is devoted to my wonderful little sister. I also call her my "Tay-Dar."Autumn has saved my life in more ways that I can count, so I'll try to stick specifically with diabetes-related topics here.

I think her magnificent "Tay-Dar" ability began when she was about six or seven. I remember the day it happened--or most of it anyway. My grandfather was in the hospital so we were all up and getting ready to go visit him. Mom was either in the shower or she had run to the store. I couldn't get to her, wherever she was. I remember telling Dad I felt low and him telling me to get some juice. I went to the kitchen and started drinking orange juice straight out of the container. Autumn yelled at me for that, making sure she told me how disgusting that was. That's the last thing I remember before I passed out from being too low.

A while later I woke up in Mom's lap with pancake syrup all over me and my emergency kit was put together and ready to go. I had dropped so low that my meter wasn't even registering a number. Autumn was really freaked out that day and I believe that is why she developed her Tay-Dar. 

"Tay-Dar" is what I call her unique ability to pick up on every single change in my blood sugar levels. She is usually more accurate than my dexcom, and sometimes she is more accurate than my meter. She knows how I start acting when my sugar is too far off in one direction, but she has also been able to accurately recognize when my sugar is headed into a dangerous number. We've always been very close and we might be able to give partial credit to the Tay-Dar for that.

I can recall some times where she has used her ability to save me before I even noticed something was wrong. One time we were at church for a drama meeting, both in separate buildings on opposite sides of the campus, and she randomly showed up in my room. She demanded that I check my sugar immediately. I was quite low and I didn't even realize it. If she hadn't have come to tell me, I probably wouldn't have checked my sugar. She has woken me up in the middle of the night on several different occasions and demanded that I check my sugar. Always I am either too high or too low, and she has saved me from some of the complications that can cause.

Nowadays, we have even done this thing that we call "tsuino" or "twin brain." Her God-given ability has expanded to where we actually do think the same things quite frequently! (Poor girl...) Now, rather than just recognizing what my diabetes is doing, she can tell random things that I am doing or have done before I even tell her. For example, I volunteered us both for the fall festival at the local public library in October. Before I even got in the car she knew what I had done.

God has an amazing sense of humor. Through Autumn almost losing me, He has bestowed upon me the amazing gift of her. We are so much alike, and yet still our own people. She has saved me in so many more ways than just what was listed here, but especially in terms of diabetes she saves me almost everyday. God gave me Autumn, and Tay-Dar, to keep me safe and sane. I am very blessed with my little sister and her amazing gifts.

Momma

There are two people that I give credit to the fact that I am still alive. My mother and my little sister. Both of them have saved my life more times than I can count, and God gave me both of them to help me fight diabetes. This post will talk a little about my mother, but in tomorrow's post I will talk about my sister.

My mother probably didn't sign up for all of the different things that come with Type 1 Diabetes in infancy. The pre-dawn-phenomena, the infinite amount of needles and blood, the many sleepless nights because of a roller-coaster of blood sugars. I don't blame her. I wouldn't have signed up for it either! But she still took care of me. Even though it wasn't fun, she still loved me enough to persevere and take care of me when I couldn't take care of myself. I don't think I'll ever be able to thank her enough for that.

Growing up she pretty much did everything for me. She logged my blood sugars, she stayed up until midnight to check my sugar so that I could sleep, she changed my pump sites and everything else. The only thing I did until I was about seventeen was check my own blood sugar when I was awake. Because she wanted me to be able to enjoy my childhood (and be like any other kid), she did the rest herself. After I turned seventeen I started logging my own blood sugars and changing my own pump sites to take some of the responsibility from her. I didn't realize just how hard it all was until them, but I'm so amazed at her strength and willingness now. At this point in my journey I'm doing most everything. Sometimes I need help inserting a pump site, but I try to give my mother as much freedom as possible because she let me experience that while growing. 

The photo below I had posted on my facebook page (Fight Like A Taylor) with this caption:

"And He knew that I would need a mother that was okay with all nighters, pre-dawn-phenomenon, mood swings, homeschooling madness and everything else we have gone through because of diabetes. He knew that I would need a very amazing role model, and He knew that He'd better give me to her because she is part of the reason I'm still alive today. He blessed me with a wonderful Momma and I couldn't be happier to be her daughter."

I strongly believe that that is the case. God gave me a mother that He knew was going to be strong enough to take care of me. I'm forever grateful to both Him and her for that gift. Without her, I probably would not be alive today.

Treatment facts

So I was doing some math the other day for a speech I'm giving. I was trying to figure out how much stuff I've used since my diagnosis. This does not include anything that has failed or that I do not use consistently. For example, the insulin pens that I have used over the years I won't count in this because I only use those when I am sick or when my pump is not working. I'll share what I found here.

Test strips are a big one. I check my sugar 10-12 times daily. This is not counting when I am sick and I have to check more often, or when there is a meter error so I have to check again. So that is 12*365*18= 78,840 test strips (in a perfect world) since my diagnosis. Also not counting the strips that have been used since my "anniversary" in August of last year. Each box costs on average $70 and has 50 strips in it, so that is (78,840/50)*70= $110,376 in test strips in the past 18 years.

As far as shots go, I used to use 10-12 daily. I did that for five years. That is 12*365*5=21,900 shots in my first five years of diagnosis. The needles alone are $25/box, and there are about 50 in the box. So (21,900/50)*25=10,950. That is how much money 5 years worth of shots (not including the insulin I use with them) will cost. $10,950. That just pays for my insulin pump ($9000).

Insulin is very expensive as well. Assuming I use two vials of insulin every week and I have been a diabetic for 18 years, that is 2*52*18=1872 vials of insulin. Each vial costs between $75 to $100. So that is 1872*100= $187,200 on insulin, not including vials that did not work or times that I had to use more than average. Also not including the time between August and now.

I haven't had a dexcom for very long, so I can't really include that in my list of supplies I've used. I have used about three months worth of supplies for the dexcom. I know that each month is about $900 worth of medical supplies, and the receiver itself costs somewhere between $1500-$2000. I don't even know what to figure for the transmitter.

My insulin pump is a $9000 machine that I have had since I was 5. Actually, I've had several since I was 5. I've upgraded twice, and the most recent pump has been replaced at least 4 times for various reasons (under warranty, thankfully).

I don't know how to account for other supplies (like lancets, meter and lace, etc.) and their costs. I know I've used them, but I have no idea how many lancets I've used. I don't even have a rough estimate!  

I'm a very expensive kid! But I am also a very blessed one. God has taken care of me beyond my comprehension. He gave me parents that were willing to take care of me--unconditionally--and he gave me the strength to get through this. Yeah, I cost quite a bit. But to the people who matter, I'm worth it. (Apparently.)

My Story

I feel like it is necessary to share my story with T1D this month. It helps my readers understand why it is so important to me to show support and raise awareness.

I was diagnosed with this disease when I was 10 months old. I've had it for 18 years. It has shaped the way I live my life and it has an impact on almost every decision I make.

Obviously I don't remember everything I went through at the beginning. I was way too young to know what was happening, which I consider a blessing in disguise. I feel that way because that means that I never had a significant life-change. I hadn't had time to get used to life without the disease before it took over. That means that I don't really miss my old life, and for that I am grateful.

I don't remember this either, but my parents tell me that when I was little I used to say that "God told me before I was ever on this earth that He would give me diabetes. He also told me that I would have a mommy and a daddy who would take care of me so I didn't have to worry about it. It's going to be okay." Even though I do not remember saying that, I do remember feeling a sense of peace about the disease. That had disappeared for awhile when I got older.

Growing up was not always fun, but I think that's the case for even "normal" people. I didn't get to eat cake at birthday parties or go swimming with other kids because of my disease. I didn't mind though, to be honest. It actually bugged me more that kids thought it was contagious. Diabetes is a part of me. It's not contagious. It's not weird. It is just there. It doesn't define me.

My mother pulled me out of public school and started homeschooling me in second grade. I didn't want to do it to begin with, but that decision has made me a far better person in the long run. It helped me to find myself without the peer pressure and to actually enjoy learning. Through the homeschool I was able to better control the disease and it kept me healthier.

Throughout adolescence, I have managed to control the diabetes fairly well. It scared me, though. That was something I never experienced in my childhood. The more research I did on the complications that could happen and the dangers of the disease, the worse I felt. I started letting it control me, rather than trying to control it. I've discovered that that never helps. The moment that you let this disease control you through fear, it consumes you and you become overwhelmed. At least that is what happened with me.

Thankfully that phase didn't last very long and I regained my confidence with handling this disease. I'm sure that was a gift from God, because I still don't know how I regained my strength. I guess I had to realize that it was never about my strength, but it was about His.

Because of my doubt at that phase, I never actually saw myself making it to where I am now. By that, I mean 19. I never saw myself reaching this age, especially not with my health as good as it is. I was definitely wrong in that. For now, I'm just taking every single day and giving it to God. I want to give what is left of my life to Him and let it be used for His purposes. I realize that everyday is a gift so I am going to treat it like so.

I never minded sharing my diabetes story. Actually, I enjoyed it. I have always loved sharing it with everyone who would listen. I suppose that is why November and T1D awareness is so important to me now, 18 years later. I want to spread the message of hope. I also want to show people a few things. First, it is okay to be scared of your disease, as long as you don't get stuck in that phase. Second, it does not define you, no matter what other people say or think. Third, don't be afraid to share your story. Because you never know who you might inspire!

Some Ways I Will Be Showing My Support This Month

So I thought I would share with you all some of the ways I intend to show my support or raise awareness this month.

First--and I enjoy doing this--at least on the 14th (International T1D Day) I will be dying my hair blue!! That way, every time someone asks me about it I can tell them what it is for. This helps to raise awareness, as well shows how fun I can be.

Second I am giving several speeches at my school. Two different teachers have agreed to let me give a 15-20 minute speech during class about what I go through daily. I plan on giving my personal story, some information about insulin and different treatments/medical equipment, and statistics. I am both nervous and very excited about these opportunities. I also plan on making blue ribbons to give to the students in the classrooms if they want them...

Also, my big sister (Aschlii) has set something up with some different groups she is in on the social medias. She has told her "Dart buddies" that this is National Diabetes Awareness month, so they are supporting me in many different car-creative ways. (As a side note, you should check out her blog! The link is attached to her name above.) This will reach people nation-wide and on a totally different level than I am capable of doing alone, so I am very blessed by her willingness to do that for me.  (THANK YOU DARTSOFMERICA!)

I would like to see how many of my readers are showing their support as well. If you have done something to show your support or help raise awareness this month (even if it is just wearing blue) and you are willing to do so, post it on social media using the hashtags #fightlikeataylor and #projectbluenovember (also try #nationalt1dawarenessmonth or #diabetesawareness). I would be very blessed to see how many people love me!

Later this month I will be setting up a way to donate money to JDRF (the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation). I'm hoping for at least $1 a day to be able to go toward research for a cure for this disease.

If anyone has any questions they would like me to answer this month, or something that they would like to see posted, please do let me know by commenting! I would love to answer questions to help spread awareness! (If you do not want to comment your question below, feel free to message me on my facebook page or email me at trryerse@gmail.com)

Also, if you have a different way to spread awareness please let me know! I want to hear your ideas!

Thank you for reading! Comment, subscribe, like and share! 
 

Kickoff for NATIONAL T1D AWARENESS MONTH!

Hello everyone!! It is November. Do you know what that means? It is NATIONAL TYPE 1 DIABETES AWARENESS MONTH! 

This month I will be posting a bunch of diabetes related things. Fun facts, personal stories, statistics and data, and some things that are currently being researched about this disease. As a Type 1 Diabetic, I want to show as much support and raise as much awareness as I can! I would be quite honored if my readers would help me do that. 

For those of you who do not know, Type 1 Diabetes is an auto-immune disease that occurs when the pancreas dies. In my case, I received an immunization at 10 months old that fought with my pancreas and won. That means I have to check my sugar 10-12 times daily, stabbing my fingers with a lancet to get the blood sugar level. It also means that I have to count carbs on everything and get insulin with a shot or with my pump as necessary. I don't get a day off. This is a full time, 24-hour-a-day, 7-days-a-week, 365-days-a-year kind of job. It gets tiring, but it is doable. 

A day to remember this month: NOVEMBER 14TH IS INTERNATIONAL TYPE 1 DIABETES AWARENESS DAY. If you would, please wear something blue to support me and other diabetics! 

I will try to post something at least twice a week this month, but it will probably be more often than that. My goal is to reach as many people as possible (I'm aiming for 100) to spread the word about what this disease is and how it affects us! Would you help me reach my goal? Comment, subscribe, share, etc.! I appreciate everyone's support. 

Inspiration

 I always kind of assumed that because I am a diabetic I won't be able to do as much as other people will. I know I can't do any kind of military service or anything like that, but at one point I had wanted to become a law enforcement officer. I was really young then--I think I was about four--and I pretty much convinced myself that diabetes would prevent me from doing anything like that with my life.

I wasn't afraid of the work. I was afraid of this sometimes uncontrollable disease and the affects that a career in that field would have on it. I never wanted to admit that, but the fear was there nonetheless. I figured being an officer would be dangerous for me because of the training required. I watched my Dad go through the Basic Law Enforcement Training program and I saw how hard it was. I just assumed that I would never be able to make it through, so I looked for a new plan.

After that, I considered going into nursing. I was quickly reminded that I have a compromised immune system, and being around sick people all the time wouldn't exactly be a good idea. If I get sick super easily, then I might always be sick. If I am always sick, how can I expect to hold a job?

Once I came to that conclusion, I decided that I would just be a Mom and a writer for the rest of my life. I had always planned on being a Mom, too. It just wasn't really a focus before that. After doing a little bit of research, I discovered that it was dangerous for female diabetic to have children. What do you think I did after that? I decided that the only way I could be a Mom was if I adopted my children. There was no way I was going to put myself in danger.

There are a few things I want to share after pointing all that out. First, I would like to say that I have reminded myself that God is in control, and His plan for me is perfect. It doesn't matter what I want for me, I have and will continue to submit to His will. It is better that way. Then, I would like to introduce you to one of my human inspirations.

When I started College I actually took an intro to Criminal Justice class, figuring that I could do what I wanted to do with my life anyway. Here is the ironic part: I really didn't like the course! After debating for so long whether or not I could go into the field, I discovered that I didn't really want to. I found Criminal Justice studies somewhat boring, and I knew for sure after that class that was not what God had planned for my life! I still have a lot of respect for law enforcement officers, of course. I will always support them. I just wasn't meant to be one.

Now I will introduce you to Kyle Cochran, one of my biggest inspirations. About a year ago, my little sister discovered the television show American Ninja Warrior. If you haven't heard of it, it consists of an incredibly difficult obstacle course that people from all around the country try to conquer. (I'll include a video of one of Kyle's runs.) I started watching the show with my sister, and we got to see Kyle Cochran attempt the course. Before they would show his attempt, they  did an introduction. We discovered that he had Type 1 Diabetes! Naturally, I payed more attention at that point.

When I watched to see what this young man could accomplish, despite his limitations, it definitely inspired me! He taught me not to treat Diabetes like it is a crutch. The hosts as well as his family make a point to say how much of an inspiration he is, but I feel that I had to share my reasons.

I know from experience that diabetes can be challenging. It made playing sports difficult. It made working in a fast-paced environment next to impossible. I cannot fathom the control that Kyle must have to be able to be an American Ninja Warrior! It makes me want to fight a little harder for the things I want to achieve. I think that "Divabetic" says it best this way:

I have made the decision not to let my disability affect my capabilities. Instead of giving up, I will Fight Like A Taylor.

Some Fun Facts About Type 1 Diabetes

Misconceptions are common, especially when people rely on sources they assume to be credible. In the age of internet, that is a dangerous thing! Not every source is reliable for everything. Sometimes people will take information from a source and hold it as a fact, when it is actually a myth.

So there are some myths about diabetes that I would like to address and correct. Let me establish my credibility by saying that I have been living with and fighting this disease for 19 years.

First: diabetes is caused by obesity. This one drives me crazy. This is a very common myth that most people believe to be true. Diabetes can be caused by obesity--if it is Type 2. The difference between Type 1 and Type 2 can be described fairly easily. Type 1 diabetes occurs when the body's immune system destroys the pancreas, causing the patient to be insulin dependent. This isn't typically caused by eating too many calories or carbohydrates, despite popular opinion. My diagnosis came after an allergic reaction to my immunizations when I was 10 months old. How can a 10-month-old be obese to the point of diabetes diagnosis? For another example, one of my best friends was diagnosed at 3-years-old after her body fought off the chicken-pox virus. Both of us were completely healthy prior to our diagnosis. Type 2 diabetes occurs when the body isn't able to use insulin correctly, or when the body is insulin resistant. Only 5-10% of diabetics have Type 1 diabetes. (For more information, you can look at the WebMD website here: http://www.webmd.com/diabetes/tc/diabetes-differences-between-type-1-and-2-topic-overview) 

Second: Diabetics can't eat sugar. There is sugar in pretty much everything, so the belief that diabetics cannot eat sugar is definitely incorrect. We don't even count sugars! We actually count carbohydrates, because that is what directly affects the blood sugar. Yes, it does sound dumb, but trust me that's how it works. Once again, it differs between Type 1 and Type 2 with how we treat it. Personally, as a Type1 diabetic, I just have to get insulin before eating something with too many carbs in it. I will add that if my sugar is too high (which I would say is 250+) then I won't eat anything with too many carbs in it. It can be too difficult to bring the blood sugar down at that point. I'd rather maintain my health than eat a cookie whenever  I feel like it. Type 2 diabetics can control it through diet and exorcise, which brings us to our next myth.

Third: ALL diabetics can control it through diet and exorcise. Additionally, insulin is only taken when the patient's disease is extremely out of control. (Some people don't add the last part, but that is pretty much what it means.) I suppose this can be true to an extent. I know for a fact that if I exorcise when I am high, then my sugar will come down. Of course, eating any kind of carbs will bring it up. But it doesn't always work that way. Sometimes I might be stressed out, and if that is the case, no amount of exorcise I can do will bring my sugar down. Insulin helps at that point, but it is not because my disease is extremely out of control. You have to consider the difference between a Type 1 Diabetic and a Type 2 Diabetic at this point. Recall that a Type 1's pancreas has been destroyed and therefore the person is insulin dependent. It doesn't matter how much exorcise a Type 1 does, the body will not produce insulin because it is not capable of doing this.

Fourth: Diabetes has a singular treatment option. This one might not sound so familiar, but the majority of people do believe this. It basically means that, assuming a person knows the difference between Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes, the person believes that all you need is insulin and that will fix your problems. I can assure you, there is much more that affects this disease than insulin and/or food. This is an individual disease, and it does not affect everyone the same way. It doesn't even affect me the same way every single day. For example, if I eat the same food for breakfast everyday this week my blood sugar will not do the same thing afterwords. Sunday I might go too high because of the inactivity during church, while Monday I might drop too low because of my morning run. My emotions also play a huge part in what my diabetes will do. If I am stressed out over a school project, my blood sugar might stay high no matter what amount of insulin I get. The only way to fix that high is to relieve the stress. Alternatively, my blood sugar could decide to drop below 60 and remain there until I relieve the stress. (This is very dangerous!) I have done this before, especially lately. It gets to the point that I will literally take my insulin pump off and eat every two hours. Once again, this might not work the way I want it to. I could still remain low until after I have relieved the stress. Additionally, it doesn't affect every diabetic the same way. One of my diabetic friends might be stressed over a school project but be medically fine. But when she gets her heart broken, her disease a complete disaster to try and control.

Fifth: Diabetes is curable. This myth is quite hurtful. Some people assume that I can cure my disease through diet and exorcise, as I have addressed. But some people are persistent that this particular diet, or that exact food will cure my diabetes for good. The only way to cure this disease is to make the pancreas function "normally." It is hurtful because of the infinite amount of people that come up to me and treat me like I am stupid because I don't know how to cure it. I've even had some of my customers at work try to magically cure my disease with certain diet plans! Even when I know that most people are trying to help, it still makes me feel bad when they try to "cure" me. Partially because it reminds me that I am stuck with this disease forever. But partially because I take it to mean that they assume there is something wrong with me or with how I am dealing with diabetes. I can't express the fact that it is an individual disease enough. I am doing the best that I can, and I have plenty of help from my family, my doctors, and my God. I appreciate the care, but it is hurtful at the same time.

I didn't create this blog post as a rant, but it might look like that. I created it because I genuinely wanted to resolve these myths as best I could. There are a ton of things that I still didn't touch on, because it would take up too much time. I will probably write about those later. I want the world to be informed about the disease, rather than to just trust what the internet or their friends say about it. Thank you for taking the time to read.