"New Year, New you"

I just want to take a moment to tell you all about my most recent discovery....

Since last semester, I've made some major changes in my diet and exercise program. Yes, I took a PE class that forced me to do that to begin with. After I realized the benefits of the lifestyle change, though, I have been implementing it.

Part of what made me realize the difference was my most recent A1C. I went from a consistent 7.1-7.9 to a 6.9. I guess it doesn't seem like that big of a difference, but it definitely is! Some other things I noticed was an absence of depression, more energy, more drive and a clearer mind. I can process things much better and much faster now than I could before I changed my diet and exercise program.

Honestly, it isn't that difficult to follow my diet plan because of how I've changed it. It isn't expensive, like people say it is. It doesn't taste bad, like people say it does. It isn't boring food, like people say it is. It's easy when you get used to following a simple rule: cover you food groups. That's the only way to actually have a decent diet. Make sure that every meal is balanced (i.e., you have fruits, veggies, protein, dairy and some kind of grain). If you aren't able to make the meal balanced (I have a hard time eating a veggie with breakfast most days) then cover that food group with a snack a few hours later. The more difficult details about my change in diet are the calorie counting and the portion sizes. I have to make sure that I am eating around 1800 calories a day, which is difficult because I'm usually low on that. I also have to make sure that I am eating the proper amount of each food group every day, but I usually don't pay close enough attention to that. I just make sure that I have balanced meals. I cut out soda and most sweet stuff on the week days, too. I don't eat any processed foods if I can help it. I have to allow myself some way to escape it if I want, because otherwise I won't follow it. :) I know me. That is too true. The weekends are my way of allowing myself to splurge.

The exercise plan is harder to follow because of an ever changing schedule. Work, school, diabetes, life in general doesn't like to play along. I like to make sure that I get at least 1 hour of exercise in at least 5 days a week. That can be yoga, riding my bike, going for a walk or whatever I want to do that day. Preferably, 2 or 3 of those days will be a more vigorous exercise, but like I said life doesn't play along. I try to stretch for 30 minutes or so before bed because it helps me to sleep better, but I am not always able to do that. I don't follow a beach body program or any of the other trending exercise routines. I just do what works with and for me, and that helps me to better control diabetes and my body.

(Random Fun Fact: Until about September, I didn't think I could exercise regularly or vigorously. I always assumed that I would just die because of diabetes. I never imagined this kind of lifestyle to be possibly for me...)

I'm not doing any of this to lose weight or anything like that. I just want to be healthy, and I've come to the realization that this is the only way to do that. This year, my goal is to keep my A1C below 7. Please pray for me as I continue working to control My Little Monster (diabetes)....

Things NOT TO SAY to a Type 1!

Reminder: DIABETES IS AN INDIVIDUAL DISEASE.

That means that two people with the disease can be affected totally differently. That one fact is not very well known, and it makes things very difficult sometimes. Especially when people make comments about care, treatment, habits or anything else that a type 1 is doing. They're always trying to help, but they don't usually know how EVERYTHING affects the diabetic. 

I respect people who are trying to help me, but sometimes it makes me feel like they think I don't know how to take care of myself. That is hurtful. So in light of that, I thought I'd write about some of the things I DO NOT like to hear. Unless people know me (personally) well enough to know what affects me... 

1.  What's your blood sugar?
   I hate this one. It makes me wonder what I did, and it makes me feel stupid. Always! I know that for most people that's not the intention, but I literally feel stupid every time someone that is not close to me asks me this question. Probably because I can act pretty stupid when my sugar isn't right, and I know that. So knowing that, I wonder what I did that made them think I am stupid. I don't think anything is worse than when people see me as less of a person (or stupid) because of my disease. 
2. You can't eat that, you're a diabetic.
   I assure you, I am completely aware that I am a diabetic. That does not mean that I cannot eat. I just have to be a little bit more careful than a lot of people. I can eat everything you can, and if you tell me not to, 9 times out of 10 I will eat it anyway just because you told me not to. I know what the consequences of my actions are and how different foods affect me--most people do not. So it drives me crazy when people think that they know enough about diabetes or me to tell me what I can and cannot eat. 
3. Have you eaten?
   Me: No, Mom, I haven't eaten. Sometimes I'm just not hungry. (I am actually talking to my mother, I'm not being disrespectful. Sort of.)
   Mom: Taylor, you are not allowed to go out on any more unchaperoned dates unless you will actually eat. Either I'm having a talk with your date, or I'm going with you so I can feed you when you are stubborn.
   Me: *Forces food when not hungry*
   Seriously, though. I hate when people ask if I have eaten if they are not close to me. I know when I'm supposed to eat, and I'm on a really weird food schedule because of jobs. If I eat off of my schedule, it messes up my diabetes in an terrible way. I don't like having to explain my food schedule to people. Also, if I have eaten that conversation usually leads to "You shouldn't have eaten that, you're a diabetic." 
4. I'd rather have you high than low.
   I've seriously had teachers and extended family members say that to me. What they really mean is, "I would rather have you high so that there is no possibility of you being low." Do you realize how that feels? They say that and then feed me when my sugar is perfectly normal--or try to, I don't do that anymore. But they do it because they're afraid of the immediate consequences of a low. No one considers the long-term consequences of the highs that I will have to deal with after they're no longer responsible for me. Also, having high blood sugars means that I am very ill. I feel so sick when my sugar is consistently high that I can't function properly. It's like they think that being high will not affect me at all, but people who do not know me do not understand. 
5. Oh, yeah. I know about diabetes. My best friend in kindergarten had diabetes.
   Just because someone you have not spoken to in 30 years had the same disease that I do does not mean you know diabetes. It doesn't even mean that you knew your friend's diabetes. It means that you have been around the public part of the disease. There is a lot of stuff that happens "behind the scenes" that you don't even want to think about. 
6. Hey, do you want to go do.... ANYTHING SPONTANEOUS.
   I actually have to plan around things I have to make sure that my sugar is going to behave and I have to make sure that there will be someone there that can take care of me in case it doesn't. Anytime I have something going on, there is a lot of planning involved. Especially if I have to drive. Just because my sugar is good right now, does not mean that it will be good when I have to drive home. 
7. Yeah, you can do that. Just don't tell your parents.
   There are so many reasons this bothers me, but diabetically speaking, my disease will tell on me. Just because I don't tell my parents I had that piece of cake when my blood sugar was already high does not mean that diabetes doesn't know it. It will make me sick for way too long to be worth it. This applies to so many different situations. 
8. Well, I bet diabetes doesn't bother you anymore since you've had it for so long.
   Diabetes will always bother me. It will not matter how long I've been dealing with it, it will always be hard. 
9. Shouldn't you have that under control by now? You've been dealing with it your whole life.
   That one makes me very upset. Not only are you reminding me I am a diabetic, you are also reminding me that I am terrible at it. Or at least you think I'm terrible at it. Fun fact for you: there is no such thing as "under control," it doesn't matter how long you've had diabetes. It will be eternally unpredictable. I'm doing the best I can, and unless you deal with it everyday like I do, you don't get to judge me on how "under control" I am. Not allowed. 
10. Hey, I heard that if you eat (...), your diabetes will be cured!
    Yeah, I saw that on pinterest too. There's a lot of truth to that whole "don't believe everything you see online" thing. There is no cure for my diabetes. It is treated with insulin, but insulin is not a cure.
11. You're fine, you have insulin. You're basically cured.
    No. Insulin is not a cure. Insulin is life support. Until the day when I can eat what I want, when I want, and not worry about it killing me in the middle of the night, I am not cured. Insulin makes the disease manageable, but it does not make me free. 
12. I hate needles. I couldn't live with that.
    Please don't remind me that I have a needle stuck in me 24/7 so that I can survive, and another one stuck in me to make it easier for me to manage the diabetes. Thanks. Also, I guarantee you that if you had diabetes, it wouldn't matter how you feel about needles. You would do what you have to in order to stay alive. It really sucks that there are needles involved, but it's better than sitting in a hospital room waiting to die. 

There are a ton of other things I hate to hear, but those are the ones I can think of right now. Please remember this if you know someone who is a diabetic. Try to think of how what you're saying might affect them, or how it will make them feel. That sounds dumb, but I'm pretty sure most people wouldn't think about how "I hate needles" makes me feel. It's also different depending on the person. In most cases, though, ask us. We don't usually bite and we like to tell people about our disease. Everything that you know about our disease makes life safer for us, so don't be afraid to ask questions.

What "Causes" Highs Or Lows?

A while back I had written about diabetes not having one single treatment option. It is NOT a linear disease! It is very individual! By that, I mean that I don't only start to go up when I eat something and do not correct properly. I also don't only drop when I haven't eaten or when I have had too much exercise. I want to take some time this month to describe to you how individual my disease is.

I am considered a "brittle diabetic." Basically, that means that everything affects my disease (and it doesn't always affect it in the same ways). For example, if I have a bunch of homework and I don't think I will be able to get it all done my diabetes will go absolutely insane. Sometimes that means high blood sugar until I can finish the homework, sometimes it means dangerously low to the point that I can't even go to class. It's unpredictable.

As mentioned, school affects my blood sugar. So does food, sleep (or lack of), pain (emotional, spiritual and physical), happiness, pretty much every emotion, stress, fatigue, illness and pretty much everything else under the sun. Some of the biggest things that affect my blood sugar are pain, illness and emotions.

Pain has always had a huge affect on my diabetes. I take a little longer to heal than "normal" people (non-diabetics), and even a small paper cut can make my sugar go high for several days. Ibuprofen or other pain reliever can make my sugar go down. I just have to keep taking it until the cut (or burn, or bite, or whatever else) is completely healed. Emotional pain can put me on a seemingly eternal roller coaster until I get over whatever is the problem. Occasionally, this is very dangerous as it can last for several months.

I have a compromised immune system because of this disease, so I get sick very easily. Illness can make me do all kinds of crazy things. It can produce a roller coaster, consistent highs (that is most often the case) or consistent, dangerous lows. Once again these problems are not resolved until the sickness is gone.

Emotions hate me. I am convinced. Because this has the absolute worst affect on my blood sugar and it isn't something I can just take a pill for or get insulin for to fix. I worked at a very emotionally trying store for seven months and it almost killed me. It took me three months after I quit my job there to fix my diabetes problems, as I wasn't quite over the problems that came it with. That point in my life caused me to be very depressed and that made an in-explainable, unpredictable diabetes ride.

It is difficult to explain in detail everything that can affect my blood sugar, because EVERYTHING CAN AFFECT MY BLOOD SUGAR.  Everything can cause a high or a low. Even anticipation of highs or lows can cause my sugar to head in that direction.

Managing diabetes is not easy because of this. But it is doable, and I've had a wonderful support system in my family and church and God has blessed me beyond all belief.

Some Fun Facts About Type 1 Diabetes

Misconceptions are common, especially when people rely on sources they assume to be credible. In the age of internet, that is a dangerous thing! Not every source is reliable for everything. Sometimes people will take information from a source and hold it as a fact, when it is actually a myth.

So there are some myths about diabetes that I would like to address and correct. Let me establish my credibility by saying that I have been living with and fighting this disease for 19 years.

First: diabetes is caused by obesity. This one drives me crazy. This is a very common myth that most people believe to be true. Diabetes can be caused by obesity--if it is Type 2. The difference between Type 1 and Type 2 can be described fairly easily. Type 1 diabetes occurs when the body's immune system destroys the pancreas, causing the patient to be insulin dependent. This isn't typically caused by eating too many calories or carbohydrates, despite popular opinion. My diagnosis came after an allergic reaction to my immunizations when I was 10 months old. How can a 10-month-old be obese to the point of diabetes diagnosis? For another example, one of my best friends was diagnosed at 3-years-old after her body fought off the chicken-pox virus. Both of us were completely healthy prior to our diagnosis. Type 2 diabetes occurs when the body isn't able to use insulin correctly, or when the body is insulin resistant. Only 5-10% of diabetics have Type 1 diabetes. (For more information, you can look at the WebMD website here: http://www.webmd.com/diabetes/tc/diabetes-differences-between-type-1-and-2-topic-overview) 

Second: Diabetics can't eat sugar. There is sugar in pretty much everything, so the belief that diabetics cannot eat sugar is definitely incorrect. We don't even count sugars! We actually count carbohydrates, because that is what directly affects the blood sugar. Yes, it does sound dumb, but trust me that's how it works. Once again, it differs between Type 1 and Type 2 with how we treat it. Personally, as a Type1 diabetic, I just have to get insulin before eating something with too many carbs in it. I will add that if my sugar is too high (which I would say is 250+) then I won't eat anything with too many carbs in it. It can be too difficult to bring the blood sugar down at that point. I'd rather maintain my health than eat a cookie whenever  I feel like it. Type 2 diabetics can control it through diet and exorcise, which brings us to our next myth.

Third: ALL diabetics can control it through diet and exorcise. Additionally, insulin is only taken when the patient's disease is extremely out of control. (Some people don't add the last part, but that is pretty much what it means.) I suppose this can be true to an extent. I know for a fact that if I exorcise when I am high, then my sugar will come down. Of course, eating any kind of carbs will bring it up. But it doesn't always work that way. Sometimes I might be stressed out, and if that is the case, no amount of exorcise I can do will bring my sugar down. Insulin helps at that point, but it is not because my disease is extremely out of control. You have to consider the difference between a Type 1 Diabetic and a Type 2 Diabetic at this point. Recall that a Type 1's pancreas has been destroyed and therefore the person is insulin dependent. It doesn't matter how much exorcise a Type 1 does, the body will not produce insulin because it is not capable of doing this.

Fourth: Diabetes has a singular treatment option. This one might not sound so familiar, but the majority of people do believe this. It basically means that, assuming a person knows the difference between Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes, the person believes that all you need is insulin and that will fix your problems. I can assure you, there is much more that affects this disease than insulin and/or food. This is an individual disease, and it does not affect everyone the same way. It doesn't even affect me the same way every single day. For example, if I eat the same food for breakfast everyday this week my blood sugar will not do the same thing afterwords. Sunday I might go too high because of the inactivity during church, while Monday I might drop too low because of my morning run. My emotions also play a huge part in what my diabetes will do. If I am stressed out over a school project, my blood sugar might stay high no matter what amount of insulin I get. The only way to fix that high is to relieve the stress. Alternatively, my blood sugar could decide to drop below 60 and remain there until I relieve the stress. (This is very dangerous!) I have done this before, especially lately. It gets to the point that I will literally take my insulin pump off and eat every two hours. Once again, this might not work the way I want it to. I could still remain low until after I have relieved the stress. Additionally, it doesn't affect every diabetic the same way. One of my diabetic friends might be stressed over a school project but be medically fine. But when she gets her heart broken, her disease a complete disaster to try and control.

Fifth: Diabetes is curable. This myth is quite hurtful. Some people assume that I can cure my disease through diet and exorcise, as I have addressed. But some people are persistent that this particular diet, or that exact food will cure my diabetes for good. The only way to cure this disease is to make the pancreas function "normally." It is hurtful because of the infinite amount of people that come up to me and treat me like I am stupid because I don't know how to cure it. I've even had some of my customers at work try to magically cure my disease with certain diet plans! Even when I know that most people are trying to help, it still makes me feel bad when they try to "cure" me. Partially because it reminds me that I am stuck with this disease forever. But partially because I take it to mean that they assume there is something wrong with me or with how I am dealing with diabetes. I can't express the fact that it is an individual disease enough. I am doing the best that I can, and I have plenty of help from my family, my doctors, and my God. I appreciate the care, but it is hurtful at the same time.

I didn't create this blog post as a rant, but it might look like that. I created it because I genuinely wanted to resolve these myths as best I could. There are a ton of things that I still didn't touch on, because it would take up too much time. I will probably write about those later. I want the world to be informed about the disease, rather than to just trust what the internet or their friends say about it. Thank you for taking the time to read.