Maintaining Focus

I promised to share with you all my aspirations for this year. So here is one of them!

I want to maintain focus on what is truly important. 

Let me tell you what I mean by that: 

• What is truly most important is God. He comes before all else--family, friends, relationships, church school, job, self, etc. He deserves my affection and attention, and this year I will remember that He is first. That is not to say that the other things are not good things, it is just that God does not want competition in my life, and I will refuse to allow any of those things to be competition. (The people in the examples ought to want me to put God first, and they ought to understand why I do that. If they do not, then they should have a talk with Him about it--not me.) 
• Maintaining focus on God means totally surrendering my life to Him. (I am a saved Christian, but I am beginning to see total surrender in a different way.) For me, total surrender is realizing that He owns my life, so I am doing with it as He pleases rather than as I desire. Literally speaking, wherever He wants me to go and whatever He wants me to do, I will obey. That is what I want to give Him, because that is all I can give Him. He knows what is best for me, so I don't ever want to be somewhere that He is not. 
• In order to totally surrender my life to God, I must listen to what He tells me. That means a lot of time spent with Him, so I can recognize His voice when He calls me. Bible time daily, and a lot of prayer. Both of those ought to be important in the life of a Christian, because that is how He speaks to us and also how we speak to Him. I don't want to do this out of duty, but rather out of devotion. My faith is more about a relationship with God than about anything else. In order to have that relationship, I have to spend time with Him. It's that simple. (Something I would like to add: knowing the Bible is quite different than knowing it's Author. I don't want to just know the Bible--I want to have a close relationship with it's Author.)
• Knowing God and knowing what He wants me to do is one thing. But being a Christian and putting Him first means that I actually have to do what He is calling me to do! That isn't always easy, but I trust that He can handle everything we go through. I will follow His lead without question or debate, (to borrow some words from a friend of mine) because I have read Jonah and I don't want to be swallowed by a big fish. I know He has pretty big plans for me, so I intend to allow Him to work in my life. 

It is important to maintain focus, and I had recently forgotten how important that was. It was a painful reminder. This year, I am living in total surrender and I am going to focus on Him. That doesn't mean that I can't have fun or that I can't enjoy life, but I will remember Who I have to thank for that. I intend to follow wherever He leads me, happily and without question. 

Forgiveness

One of the things that I have learned how to do this year is to forgive. I always knew how to forgive and forget I suppose, but I had to learn how to forgive with boundaries so I don't get hurt anymore. Through a lot of pain the experiences of this year have taught me to forgive while at the same time protecting myself. That is a concept I hadn't really considered before.

You don't have to completely block the person out of your life to put up boundaries. Especially not if that person is family, or unavoidable for another reason. But don't allow yourself to be alone with said person--always have a trusted friend or family member close by. Also, don't ever feel obligated to spend time with someone or do something for them. That can be a form of control, and people are rarely obligated to do those things. If it feels like an obligation then you probably shouldn't do it anyway.

Don't ever be afraid to say no. If someone has hurt you repeatedly and wants back into your life, saying no is not the same as being unforgiving. Make them prove that they can be trusted before you give them that. If they can't, then they have things to work on that you are not responsible for. In addition to being unafraid to say no, do not let people guilt trip you. If they are guilt-tripping you into doing things for them or spending time with them, then they are controlling you and that is unhealthy for you. You can forgive that person without allowing them to come back into your life and control you.

Forgiveness is important. It brings freedom and peace. But realizing that forgiveness can come with boundaries is important too, because it can save you from future pain. As a Christian, I know I am supposed to forgive if a person asks for forgiveness. However, I don't believe God would ever want me to be pushed around or hurt. So forgiveness with boundaries is sometimes necessary. 

Listening

One thing I have definitely improved upon this past year is listening when God is telling me to do something. Whether or not I think it is a good idea for me. This probably came from a very short period of time where I wanted to do things my way, but it didn't work out for me.  It never will if I am following my desires.

Although I don't want to share that time of my life, I wanted to share with you all my realization. It is probably something you've heard before. He always gives you what is best for you, and He can see every other option. Don't be afraid to listen and follow His will for you. Like Moses, even if you are afraid to speak He will give you words.

Since about August I've been listening in a different way than before. I've always tried to listen, but sometimes I didn't consider what He might be telling me about things that are extremely personal. Because of that, I had to experience some things that could have easily been avoided. I started listening about everything, and putting Him above anything I might have considered personal. It really does happen that when you put God first, everything else falls into place! Some things that I thought were unable to mend, He fixed. But that came from me giving Him all of me and letting Him work in my life. Without the listening, the blessings do not happen. If we don't follow what He wants, how can we expect the best for us to happen?

I realize this is a very short post, but it is intended as more of a note than a story. Thank you for reading.

Just a Thought

Anne Rice is amazing, you know that?

A lot of people find her amazing for different reasons than I do. Most people associate her with the books she has written about Vampires and other mythical creatures. She is quite a gifted writer and a lot of people have noticed that. But what they do not give her credit for is her life after she reconnected with God.

On her website we find her autobiography and its description, which I find quite interesting. You can find that here: Anne Rice: Called Out of Darkness. The description of her autobiography says that she surprised her readers with her novel Christ The Lord:Out Of Egypt (2005). This mega-bestselling author had formerly been an atheist, so as you can imagine her previous books were not Christian in any way. When Anne reconnected with God, her writing changed. I believe she did this to make a point. She chose to give up her fame and fortune to live her life the way God wanted her to.

One of my favorite reviews of this came from Chicago Sun-Times, "This is the very affecting story of a well-known prodigal's return...Called Out of Darkness is the vivid, engaging tale of the journey of a soul into light." I love the way this is put! That implies that Anne's soul had been in darkness, but it has managed to journey into the light. The light would, of course, be Jesus.

Anne had a lot to give up. She made quite the living off of her vampire books and she had quite the following! But in announcing to the world that she had chosen to follow God--and, might I add, go back on all of her atheistic statements--she accepted the possibility of giving up everything she had worked for.

I find that quite inspiring. I don't have a following to give up, but I assure you that I would have done the same thing. By allowing herself to follow Jesus rather than the world, she is definitely expressing her individuality! Well, if denying your previous self and your following isn't expressing individuality, I'm not really sure what is.

**Disclaimer**

I am not a Catholic and there are a lot of Catholic teachings that I disagree with. I go to a Southern Baptist Church and I read a King James Version Bible. I'm not saying that everything a Catholic does or believes is wrong, but I am saying that I do not share the same religion as Anne Rice. I do, however, respect her for publicizing her religion rather than hiding it. That must have taken a lot for her, given the reasons mentioned above.

Benevolence > Beauty

I have come to the conclusion that boys are evil.

Well. Okay. Maybe not all the time. But they are definitely evil when it comes to playing with young girls' hearts. I guess some young girls do the same thing to boys, though. So maybe just teenagers are evil.

I was having a hard time with my breaking heart, so I (naturally) turned to my Bible and God for comfort. Sitting in the the church parking lot on a Monday morning, just me and God, I had an epiphany. I would like to share it with my audience.

God talked to me that day about considering a soulmate. He gave me a few guidelines to go by (things I hadn't been considering). I started like I usually do-- I opened my bible to a random page and began reading. I feel like God is in complete control this way, as I don't really choose what I read.

I opened my Bible to Ruth. I've read this book many times before, but it hit me different this time. It's always been a go-to book for considering a husband. I had been looking for the "Boaz" God has picked out for me. The problem was that I wasn't acting like Ruth. To get a better understanding of what this means, let us take a little walk through the beginning of the book.

If you are not familiar with this book, I'll explain the characters a little. Naomi is from Bethlehem, and she traveled to Moab with her husband and two sons. Both of her sons married Moabite women-- Orpah, and Ruth. Soon, Naomi's husband died, followed by her two sons. She is left with two daughters-in-law who adore her, but a country in which she does not belong. When Naomi decided to leave Moab and return to Bethlehem, her daughters-in-law wanted to accompany her. She knew that she couldn't provide them with another husband, so she commanded them to return to their mothers so they could marry again. Orpah left, but Ruth was determined to remain with Naomi. She wanted to take care of her, because she knew that Naomi had no one left to do that job.

Boaz (Naomi's kin) was first attracted to Ruth's hard work (see verses 4&5 in chapter 2). The Bible tells us that after discovering her origin, he was attracted to Ruth's compassion and benevolence toward Naomi. My epiphany came from this knowledge. I feel that it is incredibly important to note that a good man will be attracted to a woman who takes care of her family before herself.

Boaz told Ruth not to go harvest in another man's field so he could keep an eye on her and protect her. He had respect for her, because of her compassion for her mother-in-law. That is where a proper relationship starts: mutual respect.

Ruth remains in Boaz' fields. She harvests food for herself and Naomi--following Boaz' servents-- everyday. Meanwhile, Naomi masterminds a plan to get Boaz to marry Ruth. (The details are all found in the book of Ruth, but I won't go over them here.) In the end, Boaz marries Ruth and takes care of her and Naomi. My main point: Boaz was attracted to Ruth's benevolence before he even noticed her beauty.

Ruth accompanied Naomi anticipating an empty life. She gave up any chance she had of marrying again, because it was more important to her to make sure that Naomi was alright. Ruth's story teaches us an amazing story of selflessness, as she 100% put Naomi's needs above her own.

Can anyone tell me what is more attractive than that? Who would not want a spouse that takes care of your needs before his/her own? 

I am not married, so I am not an expert in this topic. But I try to listen when God is speaking to me, and I like to share what I learn. My advice to young women seeking a mate is this: don't search for your Boaz if you aren't willing to be Ruth. If you are ready to find your soulmate, then you must act like it! Put aside the heartbreak games and take things seriously. When you begin acting like the Godly woman you are supposed to be, then God will show you what He has in store for you.

Reflections on Freedom

It's July 4th. This is the day that our nation celebrates it's freedom. This is the day we can say "Happy Birthday, America!" On this day in 1776, the Declaration of Independence was finalized and approved. Because of that, I would like to reflect on what "bought" us our freedoms.

America's desire for freedom was brought on by unfair treatment from the British Parliament.

"For more than a decade before the outbreak of the American Revolution in 1775, tensions had been building between colonists and the British authorities. Attempts by the British government to raise revenue by taxing the colonies (notably the Stamp Act of 1765, the Townshend Tariffs of 1767 and the Tea Act of 1773) met with heated protest among many colonists, who resented their lack of representation in Parliament and demanded the same rights as other British subjects. Colonial resistance led to violence in 1770, when British soldiers opened fire on a mob of colonists, killing five men in what was known as the Boston Massacre. After December 1773, when a band of Bostonians dressed as Mohawk Indians boarded British ships and dumped 342 chests of tea into Boston Harbor, an outraged Parliament passed a series of measures (known as the Intolerable, or Coercive Acts) designed to reassert imperial authority in Massachusetts." (History.com)

Basically, Great Britain was taxing the colonists unfairly and they demanded a change. When that argument escalated, it turned into a war. American's ought to know about the American revolution, so I will not restate much of what happened here. What I would like to point out is that our freedom was purchased through blood. Many people had to die for the idea of America before it even became a nation. Statistics say that there were 4,435 total American deaths during the Revolutionary War.

Another thing I want to briefly point out is that people are still dying for American freedoms. In 2010, a total of 1,485 military men and women were killed trying to protect your freedoms. In 2014, a total of 2,352 people were killed in the "Operation Enduring Freedom." In addition to that, 20,065 were injured. In 2014, a total of 4.412 military men and women involved with "Operation Iraqi Freedom" were killed. An additional 31,949 were injured. Each of these deaths and injuries were because these people wanted to defend you.

My point is that freedom is not "free," but we like to live like it is. I think that people choose not to think about the people who choose to die so that we can live. Thinking about that can have a somber affect on one's mood. Naturally, people don't like to be sad; therefore, they try to avoid things that make them sad. It's logical.

Alright, now because I'm me and I have the freedom to include my religious beliefs, there is one more thing I want to point out. My freedom to live and be happy came from the death of my Savior, Jesus Christ. My freedom to choose to follow Him, or to deny Him, came from His willingness to live the life of a poor man, and be murdered in the most humiliating way possible. He did that for me. He chose to so that I would recognize, if only on a small scale, how much He loves me. If you think about it, the punishment for sin is death. Jesus never sinned, and therefore He did not have to die. He died to give us the freedom of eternal life with Him. That is something that even my life will not pay for.

The cost of freedom is always blood. That is human logic. In order to maintain our freedoms, people have to die or be tortured. There is no other way to obtain it. History proves this to be true over and over again. So, when you watch fireworks on the 4th of July--Independence Day-- please remember to be thankful for those who laid down their lives to give you your freedom.

Speak Life by Speaking Out Against Bullying

So, do you remember when the ASL ice-bucket challenge was in the spotlight? There was a ton of money being raised for that cause due to that. Which is a very good thing! But something else has grabbed my attention lately. Something that there isn't a fund for. This is a cause that no one is trying to cure, because no one sees it as that kind of an issue. Bullying is a very big issue, and I will dare to assume that it is curable--to an extent. But the cure has to start with you.

If one is to research the statistics for bullying, one will discover that there are many different ways to be bullied. As an example, nobullying.com lists some statistics:

Bullying has many forms verbal, social, physical, and cyber bullying. Middle school students reports many different forms of bullying during the school years. About 44.2% of bullying is teasing which is often playing jokes and calling a child names. Over 43.3% of children have rumors and lies spread about them verbally or online. About 36.3% of children experience pushing and shoving in lines or class, 32.4% report hitting, shoving, and kicking by peers, and 29.2% have been left out or ignored by classmates. About 28.5% of middle school students been threatened by peers and classmates and 27.4% report someone stealing their belongings as another type of bullying. Over 23.7% report sexual comments and gestures as another form of bullying. Where does bullying occur many parents and teachers wonder about the location. Bullying takes place on school grounds and often on the bus. This is not the only place it occurs however! Cyber bullying occurs on cell phones and online on social networks, boards, and through email. A study of middle school students reported that they were bullied about 29.3% in classrooms, 29.0% in the school hallways or near lockers, and 23.4% in the cafeteria. Other locations that school student were bullied were 19.5% of the time the gym or PE class, the bathroom 12.2%, and the playground or recess 6.2% .. This study shows that bullying occurs in many locations where children gather to study, play, or hang out. Only between 20 to 30 percent of students that are bullied tell an adult or teacher about the incident.

Dosomething.org lists some different facts about bullying. Notably, the fact that 90% of 4th through 8th graders report being a victim of bullying, and that teachers only intervene 4% of the time. (If you would like to read the rest of these facts, this is the link:  https://www.dosomething.org/facts/11-facts-about-bullying) This shows that the school system is not doing enough to "cure" the meanness.

These statistics point out that bullying is a very big problem! Perhaps more importantly, the statistics point out that not much is currently being done to stop it. Or, rather, that what is being done isn't backed with a passion for the issue. Although bullying may not be a disease or physical illness, it is undoubtedly a problem, and it does have a cure.

Everyone has been bullied in some way. Even bullies have been bullied. Perhaps, even without knowing it, you have bullied someone or made them feel bad. This is why I say that the cure has to start with you. You must show people you care and they will know that you are not a bully. This also shows people that, even if they are bullied, they have someone on their side as well. It helps to feel that you are not alone.

I would like to start a "Speak LIFE" or "Anti-bully" challenge. I'm challenging my audience to say or do something kind for someone that they may not usually talk to. Do this for five consecutive days and, if possible, for five different people. Try to choose people who may be bullied. Then challenge five of your friends to do this as well. It doesn't have to be something the whole world sees, just something that tells someone you were thinking about them. This will prove to people that there is goodness left in the world, and it might help to spread what goodness is left as well. I'm hoping that the "Speak Life" or "Anti-bully" challenge will have a domino effect. If we show kindness and challenge others to show kindness, we may stand a better chance in our fight against bullying. I believe this has to start with people outside of government or educational systems. We can see what those entities have done to "help cure" this issue.

A Meaningful You

I wish when people said stuff, they meant it.

That statement is very plain to have so much meaning. Perhaps I should explain what I mean a little more thoroughly.

I don't exactly mean that people shouldn't lie. People lie all the time. Maybe not even on purpose, but it happens nonetheless. With specific regards to lying and my statement, I wish that people didn't tell hurtful lies. Things like "I love you," "I'll never give up on you," "You're worthless," etcetera. Those lies can drastically change lives. They either falsely build someone up, or tragically tear someone down. As far as the first two go, they aren't always lies. But if you don't really mean it, then you shouldn't ever say it. Actually, it is even possible to tell a hurtful truth nicely. My mother is incredibly gifted at that. Instead of saying something like "That dress makes you look like a beached whale." She will come up with something like "Try this! It is much more flattering." She is consistently proving to me that it is possible to say anything nicely.

Part of what I mean when I make this statement is what people do. Actions speak louder than words. For example, a father who tells his son not to drink alcohol, but is an alcoholic himself. No one respects a hypocrite, so why would anyone want to be one? Yet, there are far too many hypocrites in this world. People are consistently inconsistent with their actions. Multiple people in my life have said meaningful words and followed them with meaningless actions. I try never to follow their example. I try to never make promises I can't keep, and I encourage my readers to do the same.

I also mean that people should be the same in any and all circumstances. Personality shouldn't change when the group changes. One should always act the same. At work, at church, at home, at school. Everywhere people go, they should retain their perspective personality. If a person is not the same at school as they are at church, then they are "saying" something they don't mean. They are presenting a person at one or both of those places that doesn't exist. My advice? God created you for a purpose. If you change  who you are depending on your company, then you are not fulfilling His purpose for you. He only needs one of you, so that makes you pretty special. Troubles and all.

The norm these days is to be inconsistent. People almost demand that you change your ways to "fit in" with your crowd. Society has set the example of fluctuating personalities, depending on your circumstances or situation. Like puppets, people follow these rules and norms. In the end, they become a mixture of people that don't really exist. It must be hard to keep up with all of those people! My question for you is simple. Why would you want to be this way?  Why would you desire a life filled with things you don't mean and people that don't really exist? It will destroy you and God's purpose for your life.

If people would only say what they mean, both by words and by actions, this world would be much less confusing. I encourage all of you to be who you are, no matter who appreciates it. I want you all to stand for something so that you don't fall for everything. Don't let the world be the puppet-master of your life. Take what control you have, and be what you mean to be. Find you, and be you.