Strawberry banana walnut oatmeal!

Why are people afraid of carbs? Even as a type 1 diabetic, I don't understand that. CARBS ARE ENERGY.That is all. Quick sugars are one kind and they are dangerous, especially for diabetics. Those are usually found in candy, soda pop and other sugary foods.

The difference: monosaccharides vs polysaccharides. Polysaccharides take longer to digest because they have to be broken down into monosaccharides before the body can use them. That gives your body more time to respond, and it gives my insulin (and your pancreas) more time to work before it hits.

So carbs are good for you! Especially at breakfast time! Why at breakfast time?  Because carbs are energy! It helps you to get ready for the rest of the day! Even for type 1 diabetics!

Why am I bringing this up? Because I want to tell you what a good breakfast option is, but I have to justify eating so many carbs before I can do that.

Fun fact: I love making breakfast at any time of the day.

So, here we go!

Strawberry banana walnut oatmeal!

What you need: 

3 medium sized strawberries

1/2 a banana (you can just eat the other half if you want)

1/2 cup of walnuts

Single serving of oatmeal, NOT instant. 

Step 1:

Get your oatmeal measured out and start boiling your water or milk (whichever you prefer). 

Step 2: 

While the water is heating up, wash and cut your fruit. Also measure out your walnuts. 

Step 3: 

Your water will most likely be boiling by the time your fruit is prepared, so go ahead and stir in your oatmeal. Let it cook for a minute or two if you don't want it overly soupy.

Step 4:

Pour up your oatmeal when you are satisfied with the soupiness (definitely a word). Then add your fruit and walnuts.  

Step 5 (optional):

Add a teaspoon of pure cane sugar for sweetness if you aren't satisfied with the natural flavoring from the fruit. 

Enjoy!!! 

This breakfast is a great energy booster that covers most of your food groups (especially if you drink a glass of milk with it). It most definitely helps me to get a good start on my day. I also do this recipe with blueberries (with no walnuts, but thinking about adding almonds). Mix and match until it fits your tastebuds. :)

"New Year, New you"

I just want to take a moment to tell you all about my most recent discovery....

Since last semester, I've made some major changes in my diet and exercise program. Yes, I took a PE class that forced me to do that to begin with. After I realized the benefits of the lifestyle change, though, I have been implementing it.

Part of what made me realize the difference was my most recent A1C. I went from a consistent 7.1-7.9 to a 6.9. I guess it doesn't seem like that big of a difference, but it definitely is! Some other things I noticed was an absence of depression, more energy, more drive and a clearer mind. I can process things much better and much faster now than I could before I changed my diet and exercise program.

Honestly, it isn't that difficult to follow my diet plan because of how I've changed it. It isn't expensive, like people say it is. It doesn't taste bad, like people say it does. It isn't boring food, like people say it is. It's easy when you get used to following a simple rule: cover you food groups. That's the only way to actually have a decent diet. Make sure that every meal is balanced (i.e., you have fruits, veggies, protein, dairy and some kind of grain). If you aren't able to make the meal balanced (I have a hard time eating a veggie with breakfast most days) then cover that food group with a snack a few hours later. The more difficult details about my change in diet are the calorie counting and the portion sizes. I have to make sure that I am eating around 1800 calories a day, which is difficult because I'm usually low on that. I also have to make sure that I am eating the proper amount of each food group every day, but I usually don't pay close enough attention to that. I just make sure that I have balanced meals. I cut out soda and most sweet stuff on the week days, too. I don't eat any processed foods if I can help it. I have to allow myself some way to escape it if I want, because otherwise I won't follow it. :) I know me. That is too true. The weekends are my way of allowing myself to splurge.

The exercise plan is harder to follow because of an ever changing schedule. Work, school, diabetes, life in general doesn't like to play along. I like to make sure that I get at least 1 hour of exercise in at least 5 days a week. That can be yoga, riding my bike, going for a walk or whatever I want to do that day. Preferably, 2 or 3 of those days will be a more vigorous exercise, but like I said life doesn't play along. I try to stretch for 30 minutes or so before bed because it helps me to sleep better, but I am not always able to do that. I don't follow a beach body program or any of the other trending exercise routines. I just do what works with and for me, and that helps me to better control diabetes and my body.

(Random Fun Fact: Until about September, I didn't think I could exercise regularly or vigorously. I always assumed that I would just die because of diabetes. I never imagined this kind of lifestyle to be possibly for me...)

I'm not doing any of this to lose weight or anything like that. I just want to be healthy, and I've come to the realization that this is the only way to do that. This year, my goal is to keep my A1C below 7. Please pray for me as I continue working to control My Little Monster (diabetes)....

My Diabetes Theme-Song

Look, guys! I have found a song that basically talks about my relationship with my pancreas!! 

Starset wrote a song called "Let it die." I'll put the lyrics here, and a link to the song at the bottom of the post. 

I cut you into pieces

Searching for your imperfections

I had plans to make you whole.

But all my threads couldn't stop the bleeding,

You're so far gone but I'm not leaving 

When all I know is you.

I've been looking for a way to bring you back to life

And if I could find a way then I would bring you back tonight. 

I'd make you look,

I'd make you lie, 

I'd take the coldness from your eyes. 

But you told me

"If you love me,

Let it die." 

Your eyes stare right through me

Ignoring my failed attempts to 

Breathe back life into your veins. 

But I can't start 

Your cold heart beating

You're so far gone,

But I'm not leaving 

When all I know is you.

I've been looking for a way to bring you back to life

And if I could find a way then I would bring you back tonight. 

I'd make you look,

I'd make you lie, 

I'd take the coldness from your eyes. 

But you told me

"If you love me,

Let it die."

And you left me

More dead than you'll ever know

When you left me

Alone.

I've been looking for a way to bring you back to life

And if I could find a way then I would bring you back tonight. 

I'd make you look,

I'd make you lie, 

I'd take the coldness from your eyes. 

But you told me

"If you love me,

Let it die."

Starset: Let it Die lyric video on Youtube

Reason for this? When haven't I looked for a way to bring my pancreas back to life? Also, my pancreas was killed because my body destroyed it trying to fight off an immunization. So literally, I cut it into pieces searching for imperfections. Although I had plans to make it whole, I couldn't fix the damage that had been done. 

I'm definitely sure this isn't what the song was written for, but it works for me! :) 

Happy Diabetes Awareness Month!!!! 

Dear Diabetes....

Dear Diabetes,

We need to talk.

When we got started, you were very attentive. You were with me in the ups and downs and you helped me make some healthier lifestyle choices. But things have changed. You made some false promises and I have to call you out on that.

Rather than paying attention to me, you require a lot of attention. If I don't give you what you want, you punish me. If I don't check on you every few hours or sooner, you make me pay. You demand for me to think about you every second of every day, and you demand that I consider you with every decision I make. I can't make any "plans" spontaneously, because you do not approve of those. Every detail has to be run by you to make sure that it is okay. You are very controlling!

You are very abusive. Physically, psychologically, emotionally, spiritually, in every way possible. You make me feel like I can't do anything without help. You make me feel depressed when I have no reason to be. You make me feel weak and sick all the time. You hurt me physically, too. I have scars all over my body from the drugs you make me take. My skin is thick and ugly because of the scars and scar tissue. My arms, my legs, my back and my belly are all hurt from your abuse. Modesty isn't an issue for me, because of the visible evidence you leave on my skin in those places. It wouldn't matter if I left you today, that will never leave me. I will live with that for the rest of my life. Because of you, it also takes me longer to heal. You have destroyed my body's ability to heal itself quickly and you make me breakable. Consequently, I feel weak.

You make people afraid to have anything to do with me. They don't understand our relationship, and they don't understand you. Because of that, my entire life I've dealt with rejection or neglect from the people around me. The only people that will put up with you is family and my closest friends. Others don't stick around for long, because you run them off.

You are expensive. I never have any money because I have to afford your needs. I feel like I'll never be able to support myself because I have to take care of you first. You eat my paychecks, regardless of how much money I make. When I feel like I'm finally getting ahead, you find a way to take that away from me. You don't have "cheap" needs, but everything with you is expensive. I can't afford to live with you, but living without you is not an option at this time.

You are a thief. You not only take my money, but you take years of my life and experiences from me. I don't get to do things that most people enjoy doing because of you. You destroy me inside a little more everyday and rob years from me. You stole a lot of things, including choosing what I eat and what I can do for a career. You took my ability to play sports and ride roller-coasters and drive for long periods of time. Living with you will kill me eventually, but I can't leave you. You won't let me do that. But every time you misbehave or hurt me, it destroys me inside and brings me one step closer to my demise. You have robbed my freedom to live.

You make me a burden. I know I can't afford you by myself, so for the rest of my life, whomever I am with will have to afford both of us. My parents, my sister, my future roommates or spouse will have to accept that I am expensive because I come with you. Within reason, no matter how much I work I will never be able to keep up with your cost. I will be a burden on my family, or I will feel like a burden on my family. Regardless of what they say or do, I will know that you are not easy to deal with--especially because of your cost.

I can never take a break from you. It doesn't matter if I am sick, or I am spending a lot of time at work, or I am on vacation, or whatever. I have to take you with me everywhere. There is no babysitter for you. You are my constant companion and you don't let me forget you are there. I never get a day to myself because you demand to be put first. But I put up with you, because I know you'll kill me if I don't. Slowly and painfully.

I wish that I could leave you. There probably isn't a single day that goes by that I don't wish I could just walk away and leave you far behind. I know that isn't an option, so I have to deal with your consequences. Honestly, I would rather you be with me than with my family and friends. I will take your daily beatings and other consequences so that they don't have to. They help me argue with you, but I feel better knowing that they aren't dealing with you directly.

I know that I cannot leave you yet, but I know that there will come a day wen I can. Believe me when I say that I will leave you as soon as possible.

Sincerely,
Taylor Renee Ryerse

My apologies for the absence...

I had another spell of depression, so I have been very inactive lately. I will be more active soon! After I got over the depression issue, I've been attempting to keep up with homework.

My Alter Ego's experience at AARC (Asheville Anime Regional Convention)

Ani-maze-me: AARC (Asheville Anime Regional Convention) Review ...

Click on the link above to see how Heiwa dealt with diabetes and security at the anime convention in Asheville. This is very sad. :/

Prepared For War, And Then....

I went to bed a few nights back. After dealing with a lot of overnight lows previously, I grabbed two juice boxes and several fruit snacks. I proceeded to show my ammunition to my mom and my Tay-dar and tell them "I am prepared for war."

Well.

Diabetes laughed.

I definitely did not need any of the ammunition I had prepared. My blood sugar was high all night, and I didn't realize why until 6:30 the next morning. Autumn (my Tay-Dar) woke me up and we smelled insulin. My blood sugar was in the 300s until that time because my site had fallen out in my sleep. Diabetes was also prepared for war. A little better than I was, apparently.

Naturally, that meant that my day started at 6:30 am. I'm actually not going to complain about that, because my days are usually better when they start then.

I guess I'm just posting this to remind myself and my readers how unpredictable diabetes is. I thought I knew what was going to happen, but diabetes proved me wrong. It's also a little scary when I know that I was only 184 by the time 6:30 came around--all of the insulin I was trying to give myself all night was on my bed, it was not in my body. Somehow, it dropped from 300+ on its own. That's very scary to me... It is predictably unpredictable, anyway. I've been good overnight so far since then, but I'm still waking up so I can make sure it stays that way.

My Favorite Disney Characters

The shows we watch as kids teach us a lot. We find ourselves connecting to characters on different levels because of where we are in our lives. Most often, the movies teach us to fight for what we believe in and they teach us how to be strong (especially if you are female).

Well, the cartoons I watched as a kid taught me a lot about diabetes too. Some things I didn't even understand until here recently. Please let me share with you what I learned from some of my favorite Disney and other cartoon characters.

Stitch, from Lilo and Stitch

"Ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten."

Stitch taught me how to tame my little monster. He was created to be evil, but he found a way to be good instead. I kind of relate my diabetes to him sometimes. He was very misunderstood and so am I. He found people that loved him and made him family, and he loved them enough to try. I'm strong enough to find a way to fight my evil, too.

Dory, from Finding Nemo

"Just keep swimming."

I love that. Dory showed me soooo many things about life, just by this one quote! When I'm having a rough day with diabetes and I feel like I can't take it anymore, I pray and I remind myself: "what do we do? We swim, swim!" This character has helped me get through so many rough days. She taught me how to fight with a smile. 

Elsa, from Frozen

"Let it go." 

"Don't let them in don't let them see." Okay, so maybe I don't have dangerously awesome ice powers that could potentially kill people. But I definitely have something inside me that I've tried to hide on more than one occasion. I used to try to keep it locked up so no one had to see what I struggle with. If I don't struggle, that makes me strong. Right? Wrong. Everyone struggles. We just struggle differently. Elsa taught me to "let it go," because I'm happier when I don't have to worry about being a perfect diabetic. I worry about enough as is, I shouldn't have to worry about being perfect on top of it. I read this thing one time about her... apparently the movie was originally scripted with Elsa as the bad guy. One of the production people had a child with Type 1 Diabetes, and the child related Elsa's loneliness to their own. I cannot tell you how true that is. We feel alone. Like no one understands what we go through sometimes. I know that my family helps me get through everything, and I can't be more grateful, but they will never know first-hand how it feels. I never want them to, but it still makes me feel alone.

Kayley and Garrett, from Quest for Camelot

"You don't know my daughter." 

I actually learned a lot from these two! This is one of my favorite movies. If you haven't seen it, Kayley is very stubborn and Garrett is very blind. What did Garrett teach me? I can do whatever I want to, despite my disability. I could even live in an evil enchanted forest and "share my world with no one else, all by myself, I stand alone." I don't want to, but I could. I'm strong enough to do that. What did Kayley teach me? Two things. First: It is okay to ask for help. She needed Garrett, and he needed her. They make such a good team and they are only complete when they are together. Second: Momma has faith in you, even when she makes you feel like she doesn't. The mother daughter relationship in the movie is beautiful. When Kayley escapes to save Camelot, someone tells her mother that she'll never make it. The response is amazing. "You don't know my daughter." I imagine that is what Mom says when someone doesn't think I can handle diabetes. "You don't know my daughter." 

Belle and Beast, from Beauty and the Beast

"The Beast" isn't always so bad.

Initially, Belle was terrified. But she soon learned that "the Beast" wasn't really a beast at all. That teaches me exactly what Disney intended to teach me. Just because people look different doesn't mean they are evil. Or however you want to word it. But it also teaches me that there is nothing wrong with me, just because I am different from a lot of people. I need to treat others with respect and know that they are people, but I need to not expect people to treat me differently because I am a diabetic. My beast does not define me.

Anastasia

Actually, I can.

Sometimes I may not do it gracefully. But yes, I can. Anastasia taught me that I can fight, despite the fact that I'm a girl. Sometimes girls are stronger than guys! She had some pretty tough circumstances to overcome, but she definitely beat the odds. Not always gracefully, but she did. She taught me not to give up, kind of like Dory, but she also taught me that it's okay to be me while I do that. I'm not graceful all the time. No one is. Perfection is impossible and overrated. I'm beautiful, despite my issues. I'm strong, despite my weaknesses. I'm capable, despite my incapability. I can, despite how hard I will have to fight to achieve it. 

Tow Mater, from Cars

"What's wrong with rusty cars?"

There is obviously something different about me. It can make me feel like less of a person, or like I'm just occupying space. I'm broken. I'm not like you. But what's wrong with rusty cars? There is nothing wrong with me, regardless of how different I am. I can definitely have fun with my different-ness! I don't have to feel like I'm just occupying space and I'm a waste, because there's nothing wrong with my kind of brokenness. It's just broken differently than everyone else. I'm still working, and I'm still a person. I don't deserve to be treated like less of a person because of my disability, and I shouldn't allow people to see me that way.

I'm sure there are plenty of other characters that have taught me things. I just can't think of any right now! :) I think a lot of them kind of repeated themselves, but they each taught me individual lessons about my brokenness and how "normal" I am. They taught me how I should be treated, and that I shouldn't settle for anything less than respect. They taught me how to be strong. 

God taught me all of this, obviously, but He chose to use these characters in a lot of ways to do that.